once bitten....

Ever heard of the saying, “when one door shut, the other opens”?

Most of us, (hokeyyy…most of depressed people) stares too long at the closed door till they miss the open door behind them.

Changes are scary cuz we can never predict how things will turn out.

In the same time, there is also a saying that sounds like this, “once bitten, twice shy”. This is also so true.

Experience supposed to teach us something we can’t learn anywhere else. Pain and loss is the best teacher anyone can ever have.

It’s your choice.

If you keep on saying it’s totally not your fault, then you will never learn. You will never improve! I mean why would we want to learn when we believed that we are already the best?! Right?! Sometimes it’s your fault, sometimes it’s their fault. But most of the time it’s the fault of both party. After all it takes two to tango!

Tepuk dada tanya selera.

There are times when I am thankful for all the messy choices I’ve made throughout my 25years of life. Though there are some faults that will keep on haunting me, I know I can never learn if I do every single thing precisely right. Now I truly understand why my parents let me make my own decision when its time. It is because they want me to learn. They want me to live through it. If they keep on making the decision for me, I will never learn. I will never be able to see thing as I can see it now.

I am not encouraging you to make messy choices or choices that are obviously wrong. I am encouraging you to learn from the mistakes you’ve made. If you believed that you’ve never did any mistakes, then learn from others. Read and pay more attention. Be a good listener. Listen more and you will be amazed at things you will learn.

But hey…I am just 25…what do I know right? haha….ambil yang ada isi, ignore yang kosong aite! I was just saying! After all I love love love to talk (or blog)… ;)

Losing something i've lost

I have lost so much

But I have gain so much more

I’ve lost few important people in my life

Those that I wish would stay around longer

But that is life

Life offer lost along with love and something…(read it somewhere and now I couldn’t find the article. I believe it is from one of the article on Psychology Today..)

Anyway, me and the author think alike (*I’m beaming proudly*)..haha….. anyway, me and him think alike. Just days before reading the article, i’m missing one of my best friends so badly, so in tears, I told my other friend how much I miss that one person and how badly I want things to go back to where they were once again.

I told him I felt like I’ve lost so much this year and feels like I cant stand another lost. I was clearly thinking as I was saying (or typing) it out loud cause my next sentence sounded something like this; “but in the same time I gained so much more”

Truth is I did.

I’ve lost my best friend due to some misunderstanding between us and it breaks my heart and I miss her so very much.

But in the same time, I found someone new, a new best friend that I only met months ago but bonded almost instantly. We are crazy about each other and I am glad I found her.

It’s the same with other aspect in my life. Sometimes I felt like I’ve lost so much but truth is, why mourn over the loss when I have so many other things, good things, still around and they keep on coming.

So please be thankful for what you have. Others lost so much more than we can ever imagine and still they wake up everyday, they heart aching but they smile and face the day as positively as they can.

Smile as much as you can….but most of all, stay calm. Don’t be too excited or too sad…moderation! ;)

StigMa

My friend and I was talking about obesity when he gave me the idea how or why obesity has become a norm especially in Malaysia and even worldwide.

In the past, obesity is considered as something “wrong”and obese people are usually made fun of. They were laughed at and bullied at school. They are the unpopular group in highschool and most obese people suffer from low self-esteem due to the stigma by the public.

However in our recent years, slowly we see more and more obese people and they are the successful people in most fields. In school (unfortunately), they (the obese kid) is the bullies instead of being bullied by.

(by the way do you know that in the past….during our ancestors time, “bullies” actually means sweetheart?! Shocking right? )

Anyway, how can be someone fat, laughed and make fun of other kids, most probably the healthier kid? (Well, I said this cuz usually a fat kid won’t pick on other fat kid…they won’t even use the ‘fat’ word!). The explanation is simple enough; it is because obese kid has become the majority while healthier kid becoming the minor group and the rule of “bullying” is, the more prominent, larger group will make fun of the less prominent or smaller group.

Let me stress it out, obese people are increasing (especially younger generation / the fast-food-high-tech-gadgets generation) …and thus the stigma towards obese people are slowly shifted.

Or is it the other way around?

Instead of the stigma is lifted cuz there are more obese people

or

obese people are increasing in number cuz the stigma is somehow lifted?

(saya pun confused…figure it out on it on your own! Haha)

STIGMA!

It is the same with divorce. Although the divorce rate per year in general has somehow level off but the divorce rate in newlywed are sadly up to 67%...in other words out of 10 newlyweds, only 3 couples can rely on their marriage to stay. This is the American divorce rate but I believe the pattern is not that much different in our homeland…(Daniel Goleman, 1995)

In the past there is this stigma on divorcee….name calling like ‘janda berhias’and so on has such a negative image on the divorcee. In the past, most woman decide to stay in her unhappy miserable marriage and somehow she live through it, focusing her attention on her children and try to work things out (instead of pack-up and leave).Nowadays, the stigma is somehow lessen. Divorcee is more accepted since there are more and more of them. They have their own association and such and the entire stigma has little impact. Thus in the long, run more and more people accept divorce and perhaps didn’t try hard enough to stay and work out their marriage.

My point is, stigma do have positive effect in our life. As human we do care about what others think of us. We listen and we think about it. Sometimes we need these critiques to help us in making a wiser decision…it helps to motivate us to try harder…sometimes.

But since obese and divorce (and lots of other example) are more accepted in our culture, and the stigma is somehow lifted, we need something else, something larger to avoid being obese or getting ourselves a divorce. We need a more meaningful motivation to stop us from indulging in those red velvet cupcakes…hmmm….haha

Of course for some people, such things are unavoidable. It’s all fate..written and done. The end result doesn’t really matter. What truly matter is we’ve try hard enough to work it out…at least for me that is what truly matter. We have no control on our future but we can somehow try to shape them with our present decisions and actions …

p/s: I have no intention to hurt anyone out there….I am fat myself…I know how it feels like to feel inferior…I’ve been ridicule before…I’ve been there…and I’ve done that…

I’m taking obesity and divorce as an example simply based on my discussion with a friend and also my reading….Takde kene mengene ngan yang hidup ataupun yang sudah meninggal dunia. I hope you guys can imply this in other aspect of our life…such as homosexualism, gender-modification, plastic-surgery, lipo-suction, botoxification (haha….i made that up!)…etc…

self-justification

So many things on my mind lately

So many events and tasks to be completed

The main event was my sister’s wedding

Alhamdulillah it went all smoothly

It’s the end of the year and just when I thought the drama on fb has ended…it started all over again…the fact that someone called me “asshole” do hurt my feelings and it bothers me for a minute or two…for a split second I wanna announce to the world what really happened but luckily I am able to rationalize myself and not to do the same thing.

This morning I thought about self-justification and I realized that it is more about consoling our own self, rather than telling people the truth so that they can stop judging you negatively.

I mean people can judge you anyway they like. You can’t tell them to like you or hate you. They see you as who you are. Although how people see you will definitely affect your life (especially your emotion) but by the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter.

Nobody knows you more than you know yourself. You can tell others lie but you can never lie to yourself. You will always know the truth and judgment is only fair when it there’s truth…the real truth.

I can only wish all this mental torture would end but since I know far too well it won’t, I am determined to accept it as what it is and just smile and shrugged it off.

Bak kata my friend, “kalau awak make sure diaorg masuk syurga pun belum tentu diaorg akan maafkan awak”…..i know babe….and I can only pray….give some solace to their heart like I have in mine…

Big S or Big ASS? :P

So yesterday was another genetic class for me

in genetic studies we conventionally designated letters to represent the allele (factor)...

for dominant factors we use capital letter and for recessive we use small caps

anyway,

for yesterday class, somehow the letter that i use is S

so its "big S" for dominant factor

and "small s" for recessive..supposedly i said "little s" rather than "small s"...but its easier to say small than little....

so as i was saying "big S and small s bla bla bla..."..then "big s"some more...and "small s" ...i said it so many times cuz i need to explain it to them

that is when i notice the boys (sitting at the far end of the class) grinning so widely at me. some even start to giggle...the girls are smiling as well.... that is when i realize something and i started to grin widely as well and without any of us (me and my 100 students) said anything, we burst out laughing......

hahaha...i love such moments in class....i didn't mean to sound explicit or anything....but we all have that "naughty"mind sometimes...gila

wow i hope none of my students file a complain against me...a sexual harassment complaint! :p

so all through the class after that, each time i need to say it, i choose not to....i just point to it with my pointer...(n i realized they would smile each time)....

i enjoyed teaching n i hope my students enjoyed my class as well...more importantly...they learnt something from me....

:D

Stop hitting yourself with the hammer

Why do we do that?

Keep on hitting ourselves with the hammer?

Cuz when we finally stop, it feels so good

And slowly it becomes an addiction to most of us

…

Stop stalking someone’s facebook page!

Then get all upset because of their posts…their status, their pictures, their comments, their friend’s post on their wall…etc

Never expect others to take care of your feelings

Take care of your own…and try your best not to hurt others in doing so

Life is simple…don’t make it harder than it is supposed to be

15 days ago

The students are back

We are swamp with more work

It used to be admin and research-related stuff only

Now there is teaching stuff as well

Besides humanitarian work

Haha

Humanitarian as in the sense of entertaining the student

Who knew students can bring so many dramas in our life?

No wonder some are quite cold

Xlarat nak layan kerenah bebudak semuanya

I m trying my best but the fact that I appear younger than any other makes me the easy target

They even have the audacity to ask me if I’ve graduated

Hoh

“Kalau saya belum graduate, macam mana saya nak ajar awak?” of course I said it with a smile…

Oohhh…must share with you guys about the 9^th Malaysia Genetic Congress

It was a 3 days congress at Pullman Hotel, Kuching

Suddenly I find myself in the working committee just days before the event

The best part is, suddenly I find myself the emcee for the 3 days event

The UKK only emceed the opening ceremony since it was being officiate by our dcm

The rest of that, it’s mine baybeh

Haha

I honestly had fun

As stressful as it was cuz so many decision and so many people I need to chase

But it was fun

So people, always challenge yourself to do something new every time you get the chance

(though this is not really new to me)

Met some interesting people

Met some really hardworking people

And makes me wanna be one of them

;)

Apart from that…really need to step up my game

I’ve been running in circle since I don’t know when

Though as a result the circle is getting larger

I refuse to run in circle anymore

I wanna climb the ladder as well

Good Luck to us! ;)

"u r so in to me!"

its fun to think that way sometimes

but!

BUT

be realistic

xmola syok sendiri...

;)

ok...so i read this online;

"...when we see someone we really like our eyebrows will arch defying gravity, our facial muscles will relax, and our arms become more pliable (even extended) so we can welcome this person. In the presence of someone we love, we will mirror their behavior (isopraxis), tilt our heads, and blood will flow to our lips making them full, even as our pupils dilate...." ( Joe Navarro, 2009)

it is so easy to read some simple sign from the people we encounter...

another easy body-language we can read is how they turn their body towards (or away) from us. if the girl is interested in you, although she may act nonchalant, her body language may give her away...(unless she is fully aware of her emotion and body language...and able to control it = almost-ice-queen)..same thing with guys....(that is how i know that u like me...or not! huhu...)..but doesnt mean that you wanna marry me right? don't get me wrong people!

Notice how some people will conclude their conversation when we start to back away from them? (well..some people just too lost in their voice they couldn't read the signal we give...but most of us are normal people :D)

That is another simple body language that people can easily decipher... ;)

so next time when you are chatting with a friend or anyone, try to pay more attention to their body language. You can learn a lot from it.....

have fun! ;)

Insecurity

I posted the above picture months ago. I was reading a book in a bookstore (ngeso rajinnn…hah hah)…when I came across this chapter ....

So the above picture describes 1 type of insecurity. It is an insecurity that most of us felt from time to time. No…do not deny it. I dare to say that all of us human do feel insecure at least once in our life time.

Another type of insecurity is when you get so obsessively possessive of your love ones. You felt like everyone is trying to steal your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancé/fiancée/wife/husband from you. You can even feel so obsessively possessive of your child, you are scared that if you let your child play with your friends far too long, your child might love your friends more…hmmmm….

I always remind my girl-friends that being so insecure can be a major turn-off to a guy. Even as a girl, I kinda get uncomfortable around guy who is so insecure, till I feel I am manlier n more masculine than them. ISKKK

I am a true believer of “if you love someone, let them go. If they return, they are yours. If they don’t, they never were”….and also “love is like butterflies. Hold them too tight, and you’ll crush them. Hold them too loose and they’ll fly away”…

I guess the key word is moderation. Never love someone too much till it become an obsession. Till they have the power to scare you, to emotionally-blackmailed you. It is worst if you are in a relationship with someone with superiority-complex plus narcissistic. They will totally have their grip on you if you are so insecure! 60% of your relationship will be misery and worrying and feeling so insecure and obsessive-jealousy…pity you girl…60% misery? U need to reassess your relationship…either change things…or change and start new… ;)

Just have faith. The guy chooses you. Guys flirt around all the time. It’s harmless. It is fun. (Though it is not really accepted in our culture…but every guy did it…most guys did it). Girls did it too…in their own subtle way. Don’t be too obvious of you’ll end up being labeled as _______ (fill in the blank yourself).

Just have faith. The guy chooses you. They call you and they asked you to lunch. They introduce you to their friends (guys wont do that unless they are proud of you.)

Guys are like rubber band…they need to stretch-out from time to time. Then they’ll bounce back stronger than ever. If the rubber band didn’t bounce back, then it’s a low-quality rubber band (ahaha)…but it’s true and same applies to guys. Renung-renungkan.

Be the girlfriend your boyfriend can be proud of. Guys love confident girls. Be moderate in most things (be too confident and you’ll intimidate the male population). Don’t be a turn-off. Be the girl that your boyfriend can show-off to their friends (better yet female friends)… ;)

Lastly….cuz you’re worth it…u totally worth it... :D

just an update

It’s officially outside office hour

But due to my low-tolerance towards traffic-jammed, I choose to leave the office later than the rest of us.

So what is up with me?

Nothing much...

I’ve been running here and there for the last couple of weeks.

Raya has been a perfect combination of family, friends and food.

The fact that I lose few kilos allows me to indulge as much as I can without feeling that guilty.

(and now I am facing the consequences! The event is just few months away and I m as chubby as ever..adoiii)

Last night was such bliss. I want to compliment myself for successfully organizing a reunion dinner for us. (Though there’s nothing much to ‘organize’ really…with facebook everything is so simple n direct).

I highly recommend steamboat for any sorts of casual-fun-friends gathering. Last night was truly fun and I hope the rest of us agree with me.

Thanks to a friend for suggesting Heritage Garden Steamboat, Jalan Nanas, Kuching! ;)

Yesterday is the meet-the-lecturer day for our new students. The fact that my kj chose a picture of me eating (or rather me sitting at a dinner table with fork in my hand n a plate of spaghetti n chips in front of me and me smiling so widely) actually make the hall burst with laughter. The rest of the lecturer has their passport-pic shown….isk…except me…haha…but that’s ok…I love that picture anyway… :P and I hope the student will remember me more..ngeh ngeh ngeh…

To you…thanks…you helped me to make this all a reality…thank you

;)

Expect the unExpected

I have a rather dire topic this morning.

Read this first Bashed up by family of ex-wife

This is just a reminder to all of us...especially me.

Always expect the unexpected.

I used to feel like it’s impossible to intentionally hurt the person that we used to love…physically or emotionally.

But now I know it’s so possible.

Forget the unintentional ‘wrestling’ that happens when 2 people get caught up in the heat of an argument or such.

When our emotion hijack our rationality, even the sweetest person can be a cold-hearted-murderer.

I know someone who is so realistic I used to think it’s ridiculous.

But now I understand that it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Should you have an ugly-messy breakup/divorce, never be too safe.

Even if you have a clean breakup/divorce u can never be too safe.

Heh… if you don’t even have any breakup/divorce u can never be too safe.

Like I said, people can be crazy.

Lack of emotional control and lack of faith, god knows what people are capable of.

As for us, keep our emotion in check.

Stay calm.

Never be too happy or too sad.

Don’t force yourself to laugh when your heart is hurting.

Try harder to remain calm instead…and smile more.

:)

Kerinduan

There must b a reason why we get along so well
Though we met not so long ago....felt like we've known each other for a lifetime
The vibe we send to each other is crazily synchronized (synchronize?! Iskk...xjumpa better word).....
I hope its d same way around
There is no way we can fake our chemistry attraction rite?
I m excited today cuz if everythin goes on smoothly,
The present from me will reach its destination
We love love love to eat..though we can be picky at times..
But i m sure, this present will make everyone happy!
Especially me....hehehe......(fiela over excited! Iskkkk....)

Cant wait to meet again! Although my heart breaks each time i left....but i promise....jika ada jodoh....i will return! ;)


P/s: i m single...stop saying i have a boyfriend! Start praying for me instead! :p

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AmOK

"When Gina and Bryan fought, he found himself becoming immediately rigid, as if he’s been injected with a paralytic. The arguments shot out of him like bullet points. He knew he was being absurd, but he was hostage to his own constricted fury.

…

Researchers have a term for this state: diffuse physiological arousal, or DPA. It involves everything from an elevated heart rate to boosted cortisol level and increased amygdale activation. In other words, it prepares you for war. In this condition it’s difficult even to comb your hair in the morning, let alone conduct a nuanced conversation with someone on a touchy subject. Says John Gottman, Ph.D., a leading marriage researcher and author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family and Friendships, “You can probably say that when people get into DPA, they lose 30 IQ points.”

p/s: Workaholism has been called the best-dressed mental-health problem of the century. Research suggests that often the real reason workaholics push so hard is not to advance their careers or provide for their families but rather to dodge the even greater challenge of maintaining a relationship. And indeed, workaholics are 40 percent more likely to end up divorced, says Bryan Robinson, Ph.D., author of Chained to the Desk."

quoted from Women's health magazine ONLINE

peringatan buat diri...

Firman Allah Ta’ala:

ظَهَرَ الْفَسَادُ فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِي النَّاسِ

“Telah berlaku kerosakan di darat dan di laut disebabkan karena perbuatan tangan manusia.” (QS. Ar-Rum: 41)

Sidang Jumaat yang dirahmati Allah

Rasulullah menjelaskan, tatkala ditanya oleh seorang sahabat, "Wahai Rasulullah, apakah itu ghibah?" Lalu jawab Baginda, "Menyebut sesuatu yang tidak disukai oleh saudaramu di belakangnya!" Kemudian Baginda ditanya lagi, "Bagaimana sekiranya apa yang disebutkan ltu benar?" jawab Baginda, "Kalau sekiranya apa yang disebutkan itu benar, maka itulah ghibah, tetapi jika sekiranya perkara itu tidak benar, maka engkau telah melakukan buhtan (pembohongan besar)."

(Hadis riwayat Muslim, Abu Daud dan At-Tarmizi).

Sidang Jumaat yang dirahmati Allah,

Hari ini umat Islam dihidangkan dengan berita-berita yang mengaibkan peribadi seseorang. Ia terpampang di dada-dada akhbar dan dijadikan berita muka hadapan. Umat Islam pula secara terbuka membicarakan berita-berita yang mengaibkan itu tanpa sedikitpun terdetik dihati bahawa apa yang diperkatakan mendatangkan dosa yang besar dan kemurkaan Allah SWT. Hadis yang dibacakan dengan jelas menegaskan bahawa yang menjadi soal bukan samada berita yang dihebah dan dihebohkan itu benar ataupun tidak. Peringatan penting dari hadis itu ialah perbuatan menghebah dan menyebarkan berita yang menjatuhkan maruah dan mengaibkan seseorang adalah dosa besar meskipun ianya benar. Kalaulah berita benar sekalipun sudah dihukum berdoasa apatah lagi jika berita yang dihebahkan itu cerita bohong maka dosanya jauh lebih besar lagi.

Sidang Jumaat yang dirahmati Allah

Kita diberi amaran yang sangat keras dari Allah SWT tentang membicarakan sesuatu yang tidak ada kepastian sebagaimana yang disampaikan oleh Rasulullah SAW

Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda yang bermaksud: "Seseorang hamba yang membicarakan sesuatu yang belum jelas baginya (hakikat dan akibatnya), akan dilempar ke neraka sejauh antara timur dan barat."

(Riwayat Muslim)

...

read more here...

Khutbah Jumaat, YDP UNIMAS

Saudara Muhammad Mus'ab Muzahar

22April 2011

Masjid UNIMAS

Xkan pernah cukup

Masa xkan pernah cukup
It has been months since i have d luxury of lazing around all day...or at least half a day
Then i realized my time is soooo limited cuz i sleep 7hours/day!
Need to stop this beauty-sleep of mine n start being mo productive
Dalam mengejar nikmat2 yg ada..i need to manage my time more wisely
I have yet to complete my reading...ssss!
I have trouble to concentrate what i m doing...i wud spend less than 10mins reading before my mind bugs me to do something else...eg housechores
Do u guys have any idea how much time n energy spend to keep a clean n orderly house?
Salute to all moms n housewives out there.....especially my mom!
I can no longer say i m bored....i can only say...ya ampun....ney pergi masa yg ada?
Its true...masa xkan menunggu kita
Dan setiap detik yg berlalu xkan pernah dapat dikembalikan
So....spend ur time wisely
& spend few minutes a day to tell d person u love/miss that u do love/miss them...eg ur parents...ur siblings...ur cousins...ur friends....poke them on fb...i believe they will smile even if its just a poke...(but spend less time on fb....get real people!)....

Hokey....mok mandi...perlu hanta my cousin ke airport...told u i dont have d luxury to laze around anymore....but i m lovin it...keeps me occupied....physically n mentally! ;)

p/s: dont forget to smile at urself today...look into ur eyes n smile n tell urself how lucky u r to be who u r today...n how u will improve urself to be better...to b the best... :D

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Tingkatan Puasa

Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali dalam bukunya Ihya al-'Ulumuddin telah membahagikan puasa itu kepada 3 tingkatan:

1. Puasanya orang awam (shaum al-'umum): menahan diri dari perkara-perkara yang membatalkan puasa seperti makan dan minum.
2. Puasanya orang khusus (shaum al-khusus): turut berpuasa dari panca indera dan seluruh badan dari segala bentuk dosa.
3. Puasanya orang istimewa, super khusus (shaum al-khawasi al-khawas): turut berpuasa 'hati nurani', iaitu tidak memikirkan sangat soal keduniaan

Pembahagian di atas memberikan umat Islam ruang untuk berfikir dan menelaah tingkat manakah mereka berada.

quoted from : ibadat puasa

Bukan menyesali

Pernah skali, i said this out loud, " funny how life turns out" ...

Big mistake cuz at that moment i was with a friend who is going through 'hell' ....he knows it n i know it....unfortunately that makes him feels like any other trouble in life (beside his) is just a tiny-mini bump in life.

I m not regretting what had happened to me....let alone mourning over it for too long....

I've learn long ago that never ever asked urself the 'what if' question....when something had happened, let it be good or bad, dont start to ask yourself the 'what if....'....oprah winfrey told me so... :p

I m not perfect....but i m trying to be....we r not perfect....but we can try to be.... ;)

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mommy

I want everybody to love me

...I would throw anyone under the bus if I have too

That is the reality here

Trashing A in front of B so that B like/love you?

And pretend to be kind to A behind B?

And trashed B in front of A so that A like/love you as well?

How fake are you?

How desperate are you to be love/like by everyone?

Come on guys….don’t have to trash anyone even if you don’t like them.

What is the point of doing so?

Sooner or later the truth will resurface…

Mom tells us not to lie right?

Mom tells us to be nice to everyone right?

Be nice to others and others will be nice to you

Be sincere to others and others will be sincere to you

Kita tak di janjikan selamanya

So it has been a while since we were together…

Cant really sure what is the purpose of this post…

But 1 thing I’ve been meaning to say to you is, if you can find your inner solace for a moment, can you please forgive me for all the pain we’ve caused to you and your family?

I know you so well till I know it is impossible for you to say it to me out loud, but I do believe that deep inside you knew what happened to us till we are where we are now. You are like a sour-candy with soft-sweet-filling inside…that makes you who you are today…I want to believe that about you and I believe I am right.

Never in a million years had I hated you for anything that had happened. True, more than once, at the heat of the moment, I said, “I hate you!”…like a small child I would cry for all the anger and pain inside of me.

Looking back, I realized how childishly we handled our situation. Looking back, I wish for nothing more than both of us growing up more maturely. It is not too late dear. We need it for our future relationship…you with yours and me with mine.

Send my regards to your sisters. I know everything they did is just a loving-act of supporting and protecting their one and only brother. Same goes to them, if only they can find their inner solace, can they please forgive me for all the pain we’ve caused.

Let us move on.

I forgive you and your family for all the acts and words thrown to my family and me.

We wish for nothing more than leaving this chapter behind…without leaving the lesson learnt from it.

Salam sejahtera ke atas mu…semoga berbahagia dunia akhirat…

Bacaan Talkin

Bismillahhirrahmannirrahim.

Maha suci Tuhan yang Engkau bersifat dengan Baqa’ dan Qidam, Tuhan yang berkuasa mematikan sekalian yang bernyawa.

Maha suci Tuhan yang menjadikan mati dan hidup untuk menguji siapa yang baik dan siapa yang kecewa.

Maha suci Tuhan yang menjadikan lubang kubur sebesar-besar pengajaran untuk menjadi iktibar kepada orang yang lalai, dan sebesar-besar amaran kepada orang yang masih hidup.

Ingatlah! Bahawa sekalian mahluk Allah akan jahanam dan binasa, melainkan zat Allah Taala. Ialah Tuhan yang maha besar kuasa menghukum, manakala kita sekalian akan kembali menghadap hadirat Allah Taala.

Wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA,
hendaklah kamu ingat akan janji-janji Allah yang mana kamu ada bawa bersama-sama dari dunia ini.

Sekarang kamu telah menuju masuk ke negeri Akhirat.

Kamu telah mengaku bahawa tiada Tuhan yang disembah dengan sebenar-benarnya melainkan Allah, dan bahawasanya Nabi Muhammad itu Pesuruh Allah.

Ingatlah wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, apabila datang kepada kamu 2 orang malaikat yang serupa dengan kamu iaitu Mungkar dan Nangkir, maka janganlah berasa gentar dan takut, janganlah kamu berdukacita dan risau serta janganlah kamu susah-hati dan terkejut.

Ketahuilah wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, bahawasanya Mungkar dan Nangkir itu hamba Allah Taala, sebagaimana kamu juga hamba Allah Taala.

Apabila mereka menyuruh kamu duduk, mereka juga akan menyoal kamu.
Mereka berkata:
Siapakah Tuhan kamu?
Siapakah Nabi kamu?
Apakah agama kamu?
Apakah kiblat kamu?
Siapakah saudara kamu?
Apakah pegangan iktikad kamu?
Dan apakah kalimah yang kamu bawa bersama-sama kamu?

Di masa itu hendaklah kamu menjawab soalan-soalan mereka dengan cermat dan sehabis-habis terang, tepat dan betul. Janganlah berasa gementar, janganlah cuak dan janganlah bergopoh-gapah, biarlah tenang dan berhati-hati.

Hendaklah kamu jawab begini:
Allah Taala Tuhanku,
Muhammad nabiku,
Islam agamaku,
Al-Quran ikutanku,
Baitullah itu qiblatku, malahan solat lima waktu, puasa di bulan Ramadhan, mengeluarkan zakat dan mengerjakan haji diwajibkan ke atas aku.
Semua orang Islam dan orang yang beriman adalah saudara aku, bahkan dari masa hidup hingga aku mati aku mengucap kalimah “La ila ha illallah Muhammaddur rasulullah“.

Wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, tetapkanlah hatimu, inilah dia suatu dugaan yang paling besar. Ingatlah bahawa kamu sekarang sedang tinggal di dalam alam Barzakh, sehingga sampai satu masa kelak, kamu akan dibangunkan semula untuk berkumpul di Padang Mahsyar.

Insaflah wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, bahawasanya mati ini adalah benar, soalan malaikat Mungkar dan Nangkir di dalam kubur ini adalah benar, bangun dari kubur kemudian kita dihidupkan semula adalah benar, berkumpul dan berhimpun di Padang Mahsyar adalah benar, dihisab dan dikira segala amalan kamu adalah benar, minum di kolam air nabi adalah benar, ada syurga dan neraka adalah benar.

Bahawasanya hari Kiamat tetap akan adanya, begitu juga Tuhan yang maha berkuasa akan membangkitkan semula orang-orang yang di dalam kubur.

Di akhirnya kami ucapkan selamat berpisah dan selamat tinggal kamu disisi Allah Taala.
Semoga Tuhan akan memberi sejahtera kepada kamu. Tuhan jua yang menetapkan hati kamu. Kami sekalian berdoa mudah-mudahan Allah Taala menjinakkan hati kamu yang liar, dan Allah menaruh belas kasihan kepada kamu yang berdagang seorang diri di dalam kubur ini. Mudah-mudahan Tuhan akan memberi keampunan dan memaafkan kesalahan kamu serta menerima segala amal kebajikan kamu.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan, kami merayu dan bermohon kepada-Mu supaya tidak disiksa mayat ini dengan kemegahan penghulu kami Muhammad SAW.

Subhana rabbika rabbil izati amma ya sifun wassallamu alalmursalinwalham dulillahi rabbil alamin.

“kullu nafsin za iqatul maut“
- Setiap yang Bernafas, Pasti akan Mati -

source_

assumption...

u suka buat ur own assumption...pastu bila something happened...something datz different from ur assumption u akan kata,"i xsangka....."

sape soh u buat assumption in the first place?

u fikir semua orang di dunia ni baik?
u fikir orang takkan sampai hati nak buat ape2? just because u are their friends?

wake up la...stop living in a fairy tale...dunia ni kejam...there's only a handful of people yang sememangnya benar2 ikhlas...the rest of us...well...xyah cakap la...sendiri mau tau

.....


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A good Moving-On Song...

Sweet..direct...honest...forgiving

Kosong dah berisi
Semua nikmat menjelma kini
Dunia tak pernah lagi
Seindah hari yang ini

Puas aku pelajari
Menilai buruk baik
Kini terang jalan ku temui jadi

(korus)
Ku mahu solo, sendiri
Takkan ku diam hanya kerna gagal sekali
Ku mahu solo, berlari
Mencari anugerah hidupku ini

Ku sudah solo, resah berlalu
Ringannya rasa hati
Untuk memilih lagi
Yang pasti lebih baik untukku

Puas aku pelajari
Menilai buruk dan baik
Kini terang jalan ku temui jadi

(Korus)
Ku mahu solo, sendiri
Takkan ku diam hanya kkerna gagal sekali
Ku mahu solo, berlari
Mencari anugerah hidupku ini

(Altimet)
Aku solo, sekarang sendiri,mungkin lebih baik jika begini
Aku solo, tapi tak sunyi, senyap sekejap kembali berbunyi
Ingat bila kita selalu bersama bagaikan satu ke mana mana
Siapa sangka kita berpisah, tak kecil hati, kita tak kisah
Jadi bila jumpa bertegur sapa, aku ok, ku harap kau pun sama
Kita tak dijanjikan selamanya, ku harap kau berjaya dalam segalanya

my cewi-ness! ;)

Another weekend

Another trip to the mainland…

Mainland? Okey…another trip to the peninsular Malaysia!

Last trip was so much fun I cant stop smiling remembering them

But this week has been crazy hectic I barely have the time to blog about it!

My readings are piling up!

Mom is encouraging me to read The Secret!

I am still halfway through E.I (not gonna give you guys the details!)..haha

I am also halfway through Novel Untuk Asyikin, a Malay novel written by my ayahanda. He asked me to read it for motivational purposes and now halfway through, I can relate myself to Asyikin in that novel…thanks ayahanda…

Just now I went to Centre for Academic Information Services @ Cais …(it’s just a fancy name we have for our library … :P ) ..’

Anyway… apart from the dry-facts-academic-only books, I came across a book called “The wound of the unloved’ …. I’ve read the first few pages and felt wow…I don’t feel like I am unloved…I am very much loved especially by my parents and siblings! But I would highly recommend the book for those who always felt unloved and unwelcome and such. The writer is actually a psychologist and the book was written based on his own case studies and such. I believe it can help many of us… the wound of the unloved…hmmm….quite a depressing title…gonna read it anyway! Maybe I will share some of the content later! ;)

Oh well…so much for my update! Thanks for reading! Hehehe…got a flight to catch in 2 hours time and I have yet to pack my bag….ihatepacking.com

Smile people Smile!

p/s: cewi means excited... ;)

...

Kadang2 bila orang layan kita baik sangat, like we are family, kita akan kata dengan diri sendiri,"alhamdulillah. I must have done something right till i deserve this".

Orang-orang yang seikhlasnya baik, bila bersatu dan kita pula cukup bertuah untuk jadi sebahagian daripada 'persatuan' itu, kita akan rasa,"ya Allah. Wujud rupanya manusia ikhlas sebegini".

Orang baik itu ramai, tapi berapa ramai yang ikhlas? Seikhlasnya baik dengan orang lain tanpa mengharapkan balasan...

(I know i am gonna leave this place with tears in my eyes. They welcome me like i m family...like i've known them for years...)

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Kisah parenting

So last week I was with one of my colleague, who is much older than me, his daughter is my age! Anyway, as I was entering his room, he was listening to a talk about effective parenting. Spontaneously he asked me if I ever listen to such talk.

My answer is truly simple; I smiled (as usual) and told him that I am not ready for such things.

Quickly he drop his smile and in a serious voice he said, ‘inilah masalah orang kita’…har har har…deep inside I was laughing cuz I couldn’t agree more but yet I am one of the typical orang kita! :p

…it takes me a year to stop being bitter about marriage…so give me few more months to stop being sensitive about parenting and such okey? ;)

I know I don’t really have the excuse to say that but owh well (excuses excuses excuses! Stop giving excuses dear!)…gonna read/listen about parenting maybe starting next month or next two months aite? I promise I will start browsing about parenting as well … ;)

Coincidently enough, parenting has come across my mind quite a lot lately… couldn't really explain why…maybe cuz I am trying to comprehend why people act the way they do and I realized parenting is a big factor in shaping us into who we are now.

Anyway my point is for this entry is, he is right; it is never too early to learn about parenting. (I am 25, how early can it be? Isk) although you are single and it seems like you are nowhere near getting married and such, it is never too early (and never too late either) to learn. Frankly speaking, it is never too late to learn anything….belajarlah kamu seperti kamu akan hidup seribu tahun lagi dan beribadatlah kamu seperti kamu akan mati esok (I totally ruin the phrase but I believe it carries the same meaning)…

Let’s improve ourself! ;)

there's a reason I said I will be happy alone

it wasn't cause I thought I would be happy alone

it was because I thought if i love someone

and that fell apart

I might not make it

It's easier to be alone

because what if you learn that you need love

and then you don't have it

what if you like it and lean on it

what if you shape your life around it

and then it falls apart

can you even survive that kind of pain?

losing love is like organ damage

it's like dying

the only different is death ends

this

it could go on forever

grey's anatomy_season 7 finale

my friend's advice

friend 1 is a health-freak...I know freak is not really a good word...but in this case he is...in a respectful way. He is the 1st guy I met who knows what it takes to be healthy n live by the rules for years. Such discipline deserves a standing ovation from me! (My self-discipline in my eating n work-out habit is crazy terokkk! isk)
anyway, his tips to be healthy n happy is simple...eat healthily, work out and socialize. Eat healthily, work out n socialize (not just in fb! deactivate your fb for a while and start socializing in real world people!)

Then there is this girl. I’ve known her for a while now. i love her so much till years apart can’t even grow any distance between us. over the years i watched her grow into a lady...her laugh changed from hahaha to hihihi ( heh heh...but its true...real lady dont even laugh. they just smile n smile some more)... anyway...her advice to me is pray....and pray....recite al Quran n zikir and always think about our maker... she even gave me a cd full with qasidah n listening to it gives me a sense of tranquility...

3rd friend of mine...he is more direct...more than once he 'slapped' me hard with his words. sometimes he 'shakes' me with his anger. Once in a blue moon he would talk to me nicely (hehe:..yesss! awak jahat dgn saya but I m grateful for that!) and his advice is, be objective. Whenever a problem occurs, study it and set your objective on solving it. dont let your emotion sway your rationality (ok.lets stop here...in this case, for me, its imposibble to decide without puting some feeling into it...so for me, I would balance both...or rather a little bit of emotion and a whole lot of rational thinking...at least that is what I am trying to do..though being a girl we tend to follow our emotion rather than our rational thinking)...

there u go...I have a great great group of friends and my secret is, be friends with everyone...and be a good friend to them...( I hope I m a good friend! ;) ) and they advice me alot! I mean that is what friends are for...besides the seasonal mintak chia..haha...

Between just friends and more than a friend… PART 1

So mix.fm dilly’s daily dilemma today is;

Today's dilemma comes in from Mr. B who has a close friend who has been his shoulder to cry on for the past 4 yrs. And he's now fallen for her but hasn't told her yet. But she's suddenly been avoiding him for the past 2 wks and he doesn't know why. Any advice? (taken from here )

Dearest Mr.B,

Call her one last time, if she didn’t answer, text her. Text her and ask her if she is ok. Let her know that if she is in trouble, she can always come to you. Then let her be. She is an adult. She can take care of herself and as badly as you miss her, let her be! Give her some space and when she is ready, she will come back to you. If she never do, means she don’t even appreciate you as a friend…do u want someone who couldn’t even appreciate you as a friend, be your lifetime partner? Think RATIONALLY! Be a man and think rationally.

Be a man and think rationally!

Be a man…