Depression

Tadi baru lepas borak ngn somebody

kami berborak mengenai kes pelajar bunuh diri di universiti kami 

menurut berita yg diterima, beliau pernah menyatakan hasrat untuk membunuh diri kepada rakan-rakannya melalu SMS beberapa bulan yang lalu, namun tidak ada seorang pun dari rakan-rakan nya yang mengambil serius perkara itu

akhirnya beberapa bulan kemudian beliau nekad membunuh diri dengan terjun dari jambatan tersebut, ke dalam tasik yang agak dalam serta gelap airnya

pihak penyelamat mengambil masa hampir sejam untuk menemui mayat mangsa

mangsa memastikan dirinya lemas dengan meletakkan batu di dalam beg galas, yang digalasnya semasa terjun dari jambatan tersebut

namun bukan itu yang ingin ditekankan

ingin ditekankan di sini adalah betapa budaya masyarakat kita yang seringkali tidak mengendahkan 'jeritan batin' pesakit mental

budaya kita adalah budaya yang menganggap penyakit mental adalah sesuatu yang 'ridiculous'

ada teman mengatakan pelajar itu 'not so bright' hinggakan mengambil nyawa sendiri

ingin ditegaskan di sini, pencapaian IQ yang tinggi tidak semestinya bermakna kita mampu mengelak dari penyakit mental

sebab itulah situasi itu di namakan 'penyakit mental"

ada seorang pensyarah berjaya mengesan seorang pelajar yang bersikap agak aneh dari pelajar lain

hasil ujian psikiatari, pelajar tersebut disahkan mengalami 'schizophrenia'

apabila tertekan, beliau pernah berniat untuk membunuh orang-orang sekelilingnya

namun alhamdulillah, simptom-simptom penyakit beliau boleh di bendung dengan farmaseutikal yang dibekalkan

ingin ditekankan di sini bahawa pelajar tersebut merupakan pelajar cemerlang

cuma isunya adalah apabila beliau di provoke atau tertekan, beliau mempunyai satu daya pemikiran yang berbeza dengan orang-orang normal

tindak-tanduk dan pemikiran kita di kawal melalui pencetusan bahan kimia di dalam otak. Bahan kimia itu, khasnya hormon, yang membuatkan berasa gembira atau sebaliknya

jika anda perasan, kita cenderung untuk merasa 'down' di hari yang mendung atau hujan, manakala gembira atau lebih 'upbeat' di hari yang cerah atau bercuaca elok

sedarkah anda bahawa itu sebenarnya akibat cetusan hormon di dalam badan kita, badan bertindak mengikut persekitaran dan ini mempengaruhi penghasilan hormon di dalam badan justeru 'mood' individual

care a little would you?

accepting our differences

...and respecting them...

So i have a new leader on my current portfolio...

Yesterday was our first discussion and he said,"lets agree to disagree"...

I smile....love that phrase.....one thing i learn though my tiny miny amounts as a team member is that we must always respect the other's opinion and respect our team leader's decision. That is why we have a leader in the first place. As different as our opinion is from the others, we must respect them anyway.

When you become the leader, you can make the decision...;)

When ur decision was chosen,i.e your leader decided to use 'your way'...beristighfar....a lot. Cuz this means if anything went not as plan...you are responsible for it...and remember...kerja juga satu ibadah... and... we can earn pahala as well as dosa through it...

This also means, think twice, thrice...before you suggest anything. Make sure your suggestion is the best you can provide....if you dont have anything good to say, then dont say anything....listen and learn....through that you will be able to come out with the best suggestion in the future....insya allah.

I talk a lot heyyy....:p

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Breaking the ice

And maintaining the conversation…

Last week I was in this class and one of my “classmates” presented his field with so much enthusiasm, I find it hard to take my eyes of him…and listening to his voice.

 He was beaming. His voice was loud enough and I think I saw twinkle in his eyes. He was excited and so animated. Hand waving around, smiling and his tone of voice went up and down harmonically.

During lunch time, he sat next to me. We were at a table of about 8-10 person and most of us has started a conversation on something. I realized how quiet he was. Now and then he would look up, as if wanting to start a conversation but not knowing where to start.

So I asked him something about his field. In a split second, he started to light up again. He answers my question with so much enthusiasm…it makes me smile deep inside.

At that very second I realized something, I always know how to break the ice…but never really succeed maintaining the conversation. I always finding myself struggling to ask more cuz I am so afraid of “touching the sensitive issue”…

Anyway…how to break the ice?

Easiest way is to catch their eyes and smile…

…followed by a simple comment on something light…e.g “the class is so interesting!” or “I think it is gonna rain!”….something that your new-friend can add in.

Or just ask their name…but more often than not, I asked people their name when we are about to part. I have that habit…. and I find it easier to memorize their name that way…

And then what? How to maintain the conversation?

I guess keep on asking question…share a little of your stories…smile some more and ask them some more… ;)

 I am not sure….like I said….i know how to break the ice…but then what?!

@_@

article worth sharing

1) Wife-hood and motherhood not the only ways to paradise. by MARYAM AMIR-EBRAHIMI 

"Why, as a general community, are we not putting the same pressure on women to encourage them to continue to seek Islamic knowledge? Higher education? To make objectives in their lives which will carry over and aid them in their future familial lives, if such is what is meant for them? Perhaps it’s because we’re obsessed with the idea that women need to get married and become mothers and that if they don’t, they have not reached true success."

2) Are you single at heart? by Bella DePaulo

“You just need to think harder about the "single at heart" option than the "coupled at heart" option, because the latter is just assumed. It's our mental and cultural default option.”

There are so many more articles written by the knowledgeable person out there. Just be careful of what you are digesting…you might get intoxicated…

I am getting immune to the question why am I still single? Why am I not looking for a husband?

Or the question that can make me roll-my-eyes 360⁰  “Why didn’t you want to be with him? Is he not good enough for you? Why are you so choosy?”

How should I answer that?

I know they meant well, but I wish they do understand that it is not the topic that we want to talk about on daily basis. We have so many more things to do, to think about, and to discuss with you. So why oh why are we bombarded with such questions as if not getting married is the worst thing ever?

By the way, do you know that “spinster” actually mean a woman who is economically independent who could support themselves by spinning wool? (Bella DePaulo, 2010).

Notice how we changed the definition of the word into some women nowadays dreaded?

It is a shame on us.

30 and single?

I heard somewhere that if you are single by the age of 30, you will become self-sufficient. You know and you do rely on yourself... it become harder for you to rely on others and....

...and maybe that is why it is getting harder for you to find your lifetime partner...

Sure...you do socialize...your mum introduce u to a dozen girls or boys...but none meet the criteria...have u ever thought that it is not because they are not good enough, but it is because you are so self-sufficient till you don’t find the need to have someone in your life...(you even plan to adopt a child)...

Imagine this....u are in your comfort zone....so why would you want to get out from it?! Especially when there is no need of it...

Generally, self-sufficient means you rely on yourself for most thing. You cook and do your own laundry...you are capable of doing the groceries shopping alone....you can watch the movie alone in the cinema without feeling pathetic at yourself....you enjoy having your meal alone....in the same time you have such a great group of friend.....(in other words, u r not a total recluse!)

Some may even define self sufficient as someone whose personality is vibrant and have a strong functioning social network and not in any committed-i-want-to-marry-you relationship.

As a muslim we were encourage to get marry when it is time, when we are ready.

For me the key-phrase is "Open Your Heart"....if its time for you to get married, then you will get married. Don't concentrate on it too much, you'll end up depressed.

Don't completely forget about it, you'll end up rejecting everyone....

Xkekok ke

Someone asked me today, “isn’t it awkward for you to be here?”

Not knowing what to answer, I just smile and tried to think deeper, “is it awkward?!”

I couldn’t really find the answer to the question…cuz honestly I am not sure how I felt. I should feel awkward but I feel nothing instead. I acknowledge the existence but that is all it.

Not so long ago someone asked me how can I be so cool about it cuz if it were her in my shoes, she would be crazy nervous and cool is the least thing to describe her at that moment in time.

I can still remember what I told her…I told her when you’ve reached one point in your life; you can no longer feel the extreme emotional rush that you used to get when you were a lot younger. You can no longer feel extreme sadness or extreme joy….your feeling is basically calm.

When you are happy, you smile...

When you are sad, you didn’t smile but you didn’t cry either.

There are no words to describe this but I believe others out there are experiencing the same.

To be honest, there are times when I miss the extreme emotional rush…let it be joy or pain…cuz you just want to feel something extreme…but come to think of it, I prefer myself to be this way.

...

knowing...

know thy self and you will smile know the reality of this world and you shall be unperturbed in it to not just be awake, but also having awareness to learn, but not just to know man arafa nafsah, fa qad arafa rabbah know thy lord, and thy slavehood and thy shall be free in a world shackled calm in an agitated world JUM!!!

By Anonymous on Unclutter my cluttered mind on 3/23/12

in love with this comment (not the commentator... :P ...) Did some reading on the phrase “Man 'arafa nafsahu faqad 'arafa Rabbahu” "...it means “Whosoever knows himself knows his Lord.”

forgive me if i am wrong, still need to learn a whole lot more but i believe this is something worth sharing.....lets do more reading folks...

but apart from that i've heard hundred times on how if we admire the greatness of the world..the mountains and trees and how the sky held up so high by nothing...and how the river flows to the sea and the gravity keep them down (or attached to the world..if i may) ... or what a mystery the human brain is ... we will see how great our creator is and how small we are as human....

Allah gave us all the blessings and pleasures in this world...the ability to breath...good health...ample time (that we wasted mostly on FACEBOOK! :( ) and every little blessings that we get ... and what do we do? We complain and complain some more...

Say thank you Allah ...

Thank you Allah ...

...slowly life is more than just life....