I don’t know what to blog. Maybe I refuse to discuss it later…with anyone…at anytime…unless I started it first.
I used to blog…a lot…I take critics… I indulge in praises…but nobody really discuss what I post privately… unless I started it first. I guess that’s how I want it work. People may comment on the comments box…but that’s it. What’s in the cyber-space should remain in the cyber-space…my blogging I mean…should remain in my blog…only…unless I want to discuss it…then I would start it first.
I am so tired. Sometime I don’t even know why I am so tired. Food rarely gives me that satisfaction. I used to be an emotional eater. But not here and I can’t really explain why. Is it the food….or have I changed…really change….if I have change…means that’s good news. I don’t want to be an emotional eater for the rest of my life. I get enough sleep…but still I yawn almost all the time…waking up in the morning used to be so easy for me…but now I have to drag myself out of bed…
Every week, girls here invite me to their small gathering….solat Maghrib jemaah…bacaan yasin…then Isya’….then just hang around….so far I have been none of it. I can’t explain it…I just don’t. I am touched that they didn’t give up inviting me though…this is me…sometimes.
I have no girlfriends here. Partly because I didn’t make any. People who knows me would just smile and said,’ fiela nang camya’….am I choosy? I don’t know. I hope not. I miss my housemate when I was in UNIMAS. They were good friends. I miss Zerd…I miss my roommates and tutorial-mates back in KML…
I am addicted to Grey’s anatomy…more than ever. Sometimes I feel like that’s how I escape from my own miseries and trouble (not that I am misery at all time)…anyway…watching Grey’s and all their complicated love life makes me pretty occupied…and it feels like for a while my head can rest from thinking all of the things in my life right now.
Honestly…I need a good cry…badly…I need someone who can listen to me and won’t judge me…I need that person who won’t get upset or mad or sad… I need Christina(yeah…that character in Grey’s Anatomy)…or maybe George OMalley...he is such a good person....I need that person badly…