When it hit….it hits the hardest

Last week was such a crazy week at work. Super stressful. Super busy.

My yield drop….crazy drop….I power pump like crazy…I eat like crazy as well.

But nothing works! Trust me…

I was close to tears!

Oh well…I was in tears…as I was driving home one afternoon, sending 1 bottle for my baby…just one! When I know he needs 2 bottles at least…I cried…I can feel my heart is broken. Is this the end?!

Never knew it will be this emotional!

Or I am this emotional!

He is turning 1 in 3 months!

Should I stop?!

Of course not….

I guess it is the worst so far because it is that time of the month as well.

Hormonal plus stress at work…

Haihhh…. I can’t stop…I won’t stop…

So now the supply is back up…very slowly…but hopeful…I have to…I have no choice

So keep on pumping mamaS

p/s: what I did was, I feed him more solid food and more plain water….they need to eat more anyway…hahaha….

Why I wish my 1 year old drink (milk) less...

 ... and eat more.

Little one is turning 1 soon.

He is still exclusively breastfeed.

He is also taking solid. Breakfast (most of the time). Lunch and early dinner (or should I say high tea…cuz he would have it around 6-630pm)! Now he even have the appetite for dinner (around 8 pm).

I do hope his milk-drinking session would slowly decrease. I don’t want it to totally stop. NO! but I do hope he would rely more on the food for his energy. WHY?

1st- my milk production is getting less and less…but it still meet his demand! I see this as good and bad thing. I don’t want to wean him yet but I just can’t produce milk just like I did before. I couldn’t miss even one pumping session. Or else he won’t enough milk when I am at work.

2^nd- I refuse…strictly refuse to give him formula milk. I do hope my milk will last till he is at least 1 year and above. The good news is, once your baby turns 1, he can drink milk. I mean true milk instead the formula  heh….i am not informed enough to tell you about formula milk vs real milk. All I know I don’t want my kid to drink formula milk simply because I want him to eat/drink less processed food/drink.

3^rd- I read about how our 2 3 year old rely on milk for their energy. They refuse to eat real food and parents spend fortune on buying milk (money is an issue!). Most of the time, the kid will become underweight/overweight, have dental problems (because most of this milk has high sugar content) and worse, drinking milk far too much, can cause kidney problem (read about this from an article written by a homeopathy doctor…and it seems logic!)

There. That’s my three reasons. I am not an epitome of health. I am overweight most of my life and I am just turning 30.

I just hope my kid will be healthier… ;)

co-sleeping

I would like to dedicate this post to all new moms out there.

It breaks my heart to see post from new (and mostly young moms) on how their newborn refuse to sleep alone. Or how those moms complain and asking advice on how can the train ( I repeat TRAIN!) their newborns, how to sleep alone. Usually they describe their newborn as cranky or clingy or plain needy.

Your newborn has been inside of you for 9 months. He is used to your heartbeat. He is used being wrapped inside of you. He is used to the warmth and dark inside of you.

Suddenly he was born…and every single thing change! The bright light. The cold room. The noise! Oh the noise…he was so used to your heartbeat and maybe your tummy rumbling now and then. Suddenly that was gone. Now the world is louder…much louder…and brighter!

So it is too much for them to ask for your warmth…your hug to keep them accompanies allll theee time?! Yup….it seems impossible at first…but trust me…this is the beginning of a less cranky baby (read LESS).

Here is my story.

My son was admitted the 2^nd day he was born. He was jaundiced right from the start. And I was among the lucky ones who get the mobile-phototherapy thingy. So what I did was, I started co-sleeping with my 2 days baby on the hospital bed!

 Some of the nurse was not impressed at all. Who cares? Right from the start, I realized that my baby sleeps better when I am next to him. Especially at night! So during the day, I leave him in the basinet …and at night, we move the thing to our bed. He sleeps right next to me…the phototherapy thingy above him. Lighting him fluorescent blue! 2 weeks! That’s how we sleep.

When we went home, the co-sleeping continues. Fast forward 10 months later, he still co-sleeping with us. Me and hubby. Of course he conquer 50% of the bed…another 50% for me and hubby….with hubby 45% and me 5%! Hahaha…just kidding... but yes! We still sleep together!

So what do I have? I have a very less cranky baby! I am serious. When me and husband are around, I can say it is easy to comfort him. Of course he does cry…that is how he communicate…

I hope this continues. I hope my baby and me continues to understand each other. 

Although I am preparing myself for his above 1 year tantrum…..finger-crossed!

But hey….our 1^st year together has been so amazingly pleasant! Okay…pleasant enough… :P

p/s: here is the image on the joy of co-sleeping.... 

Annoying

How annoying it is to have a mosquito in your office?! Just that one little thing….. just that one tiny weeny mosquito….yup…I am pretty much annoyed right now.

How annoying it is when one person is telling a story, and before you can even complete one introductory sentence, the other person jumps in with her opinion. Hello! I haven’t done talking.

How annoying it is to have your neighbor cats wondering around your house, stealing food? I guess it is even more annoying when you realized that your neighbor has dozen of cats and quickly you assume that the cats are not well-fed…thus explaining their stealing!

Oh well…there are thousands of things I can be annoyed at. I used to be far more easily annoyed before this… well…I still am….but I am learning to hide it. To let it pass before I even realized it…. I realized that my life is far too short and I have too many blessings to be counted (count your blessings, remember?!)….

So now whenever I started to get annoyed, I will say, ”La haula wa la quwwata illa billah”. (Tiada daya dan tiada kekuatan kecuali dengan pertolongan Allah semata-mata)…. There is no strength without Allah’s help…. The same zikir I keep on saying when I was in labour….seriously….no…seriously! or when my baby was warded…never underestimated the power of zikir!

Have I told you guys about this one family? From the moment I enter their house, to the moment I leave, they never stop berzikir! Allahhuakbar…the serenity you feel entering their house is indescribable! Don’t get me wrong…they do chat with you….but they weave in the zikir in between. It was so beautiful and peaceful.

Peace. :P

New Year

Nothing much has change.

Except I am getting older…and wiser…AMIN!

My mind is very occupied lately, I find myself thinking about one thing after another.

This morning I woke up and as I was nursing my son, I felt like I’ve been up for hours. ‘Looking’ into my brain, I realized I’ve been thinking about so many things at one time….work, home, my son, his food, his nanny, his tummy-trouble… aha…I know I know…all I can think about is my son.

But I am sincerely tired. I am losing my focus. I can close my eyes and ‘feel’ my brain going to 1001 directions! My body is tired but my mind wont stop thinking!

My main concern right now is shah diet…he started solid months ago. Before this it is just introduction…but since he is turning 1 soon, food no longer just an introduction to him. He needs it for his active lifestyle (hihi..as if he has other lifestyle! :P)

I need to stock up my fridge and my kitchen pantry ( reminds me…I need to have one! A proper one…aiyerrrr)

So so tired…..oh…and happy new year