My birthday post

I just realized that this year, I forgot my birthday post. Haha

Am I that old? Old enough to forget my own birthday? Aiyerr…. I hope not.

Anyway…this year, I was away from my family during my birthday. I was with my husband instead! (I know…my husband is my family…but you all get what I mean)….but hey…I am happy. I still get the smses wishing happy birthday…thanks guys….cant believe you guys still remember it (lets pretend FB didn’t remind you guys..haha) and care enough to text me! ;)

The greatest birthday gift this year would be my sponsored child from Pakistan. I have been waiting for her profile since I make that 1^st donation…and coincidentally I received it on my birthday (minus the fact that they sent it earlier and it was me who couldn’t check my mail till my birthday!). 

I am 27 years old. 

Earlier this year, I did my very first blood donation. It is a big thing for me! I’ve wanted to do so since god knows when but too scared to actually do it. Planned to go for the 2^nd donation sometime on May…but I was crazy busy and just couldn’t find the time. When I am finally settling down, I find myself couldn’t donate anymore…at least not now…heh heh

Middle of the year, got married. If you asked me last year, I wouldn’t be able to tell you that I am getting married this year! It just happen… we remain friends after all this time and pooffff…we are married! Hehe… We were perfect for each other….and there’s that!

Few months after that, more good news… I am truly blessed. ;)

On the other side…life has been a real challenge for me. Work and some personal issue (that is not so personal anymore) has been kicking my **s.. (I just love to do that..hehe)…but finally I know what my priority is and allowing myself to ‘wallow’ in my trouble is the last thing I should do. So we should face them bravely and wisely and keep on living! ;)

happy 27th! ;)

Changed...

It all started with a back pain. Usually I won’t even realized that I’ve been sitting down for few hours straight but that week, I can’t even sit still for more than half an hour. 

But I just brush it off. Telling myself to take more calcium!

Then I get extra sensitive to smells. I especially hated the citrus/lemon/orangey smell. I truly did. At first I thought someone was wearing an extra strong perfume….a lemon smell. Then I enter my car and I can still smell it! Even when I am in my hubby’s car I can smell it! It’s like I can smell it everywhere and it is driving me nuts. But even then, I just brush it off…I told myself that I am just being dramatic.

Then I become so lethargic. It was bulan puasa. So like others, I fast! By that time, I am already suspecting that something is happening (hehe)…but being me…I told myself to wait…just wait…give it a couple of days or weeks before taking the test…..takut baaa…..but fasting was a real challenge for me. I would become so tired like crazy tired by 10 am! I just told myself to eat better during berbuka puasa and sahur. It helps a little but boy….never thought I could feel that weak and tired. It is not so much as hungry or thirsty. I am just so tired like I didn’t get any sleep or didn’t eat for days (seriously).

And boy oh boy…the toilet breaks I need! It drives me crazy sometimes. I even scared myself by asking, “did I get the urine infection or something?!” ..haha…I know…. :P

Then I went to visit my hubby. I told him my suspicions and surprisingly, he told me to wait as well. Haha. At that moment, I was disappointed with his decision but obey him at the same time….well…sort of. 

So I give it 3 days. 3 days and we didn’t even talk about it (I think! Haha)…then I start to ‘nag’ about it. I was getting anxious. I am late! I have the symptoms. I contacted my close friend and she is supporting me to take the test asap. I was so nervous. So again…brought the subject to Mr.Husband. Finally he agreed. 

We were at his parents’ house at that time. We went to Sunway Carnival Mall, because I told him we can get the test-kit at Watson or (wow….whats the name of the other famous pharmacy?)… anyway…we bought one, go home and I get myself tested. Ooohh….we bought the digital ones! Hehe…..and helo helo….we get the results. 

We were estathic but still can’t believe it. So we went out again (telling his parents we wanted to buy something for berbuka! Haha)…and we drove to the nearest clinic…and it’s closed (it was World Heritage Day or something like that so most of the shops are closed.). Went to KPJ and they told us the specialist is only available on Monday. Went to another clinic, which is luckily open that day but they didn’t have the service. 

So I contacted my sister, asked her how accurate is the test. She said it is accurate. But she also asked us to get a more classic test-kit. Hehe. We went back to Sunway Carnival, went back to the same Watson and bought 2 more. Go home, tested myself and never stop bersyukur ever since.

It was a blessing really. Though it is quite hard for us, cuz we are living apart… but I have never been more grateful in my life. 

Suddenly my life changed….it was changed less than 3 months ago…and now, it has taken another dramatic change… I am grateful..

Dreams

I was so damn sleepy at the office …tried to brush it off with tea but no luck….and coffee will just make me feel sick! Seriously! So lets mengular di alam maya kejap.

Anyway….lately, I’ve been having weird dreams. Most of the time, I don’t have any dreams! (even if I did, I won’t remember them at all in the morning). 

But lately I’ve been having weird dreams (and remember them well enough!)…. My latest weird dream would be the one I had few nights ago. 

So in it, I was at a resort. I was lazing around at the balcony of our room (can’t remember who I am with though)….when I suddenly saw a big blue whale swimming towards the beach. Suddenly the beach dried up, leaving the whale on the sand. Luckily the whale is in some sort of a puddle and she is still breathing. Then a group of people came, (again, I don’t recognize any of them), then we (me included okay), then we tried to save the whale. We built some sort of pathway that fits the whale, then we just push the whale towards the sea through the pathway.  It’s a very hard work since the whale is very big…crazy big….but we did it. Watching her swimming in the ocean is the biggest satisfaction of all. 

I am still smiling because of that dream. Haha…….but why on earth am I dreaming about the blue whale? Crazyyyyy....

Itu semua ketentuan Ilahi

   

So lately I’ve been hearing whines from my single-super-marvelous friends about people asking them, “bila gik nak nikah tok?” or “pahal lom kawen?!” or the best thing would be, “iboh choosy gilak bah! Kawen gik sia!” …(stop being so choosy…get married already!)…

Huwau…..friends, I was in the same boat before. Persetankan mereka! (I am not sure what ‘Persetankan’ mean, but hey…it sounds right!).

I know someone who would say this each time someone ask that stupid, insensitive question to her, “tunggu makan hol kitak lok!” …rude and cruel but serves them right.

Never judge people! Never ask people when will they get marry and never ask married people when they will have a child. Never tell them not to wait too long. For all you know, they have been waiting their whole life and your stupid selfish question is the last thing they wanted to hear!

On the other hand, to my married friends, or to all my married-having-a-blast-just-have-kids-or-still-in-the-honeymoon-phase friends or my i-am-getting-married-soon friends, we are not better than our single-amazing-independent-strong friends. We could lose it all tomorrow and they can very well have it all tomorrow. Don’t judge. Don’t think that just because we did it earlier than them, we are wiser! (trust me…it doesn’t necessarily means we are!)

I wish I can give comfort to all of you. I really do. It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there. Felt that. All the time I can only smile faintly. What else can we do at that moment right?

Xpa. Hidup tok adil. Kita mungkin kurang di department A tapi kita lebih di department B. Kita mungkin miskin harta, tapi kita kaya budi pekerti.

p/s: god bless each and everyone of you. This Syawal I met so many amazing people! Wonderful people who shows me “biarlah kita miskin harta, tapi jangan miskin budi pekerti”… makin daif kehidupan seseorang, makin besar hatinya … makes me feels like betapa la kecik sebenarnya kita tok!

Life….

All of our troubles seem unimportant compared to others … others in the other part of the world. 

That makes me feel like any post I wrote seems so menial…so useless…

Didn’t dare to tackle the bigger issue…surely need more information before I even dare to share my opinion to the rest of the world. Sharing to friends and family require less … they can always correct you…and that’s how you will learn more. Post it here, and I will have people correcting me harshly, sometimes their opinion is more ridiculous than mine…the thing is, people who judge me the most, is people who are afraid to reveal their identity…scared much? The information is more acceptable if the resource person is reliable….an anonymous is not a reliable person. 

I met an Iraqi family yesterday. I couldn’t help but asking myself, how are they feeling? They are safe and sound here but back at their hometown, their family and friends are fighting for life…  I am too scared to ask them that though…

On the brighter side, we were chatting about labor and such and she told me that she gave birth to a healthy baby girl, weighing 4.5kg! How amazing is that? She did it naturally. I am sooooooooooooooo in awe with her when I heard that. She is no larger than me! haha 

Well I guess that’s how they live. They think about their suffering at back at their hometown but they didn’t let it drag them down. Some act on it, some pray, some give donation…there are thousand ways to help them…

Ooohhh…..which reminds me… I would like very much to invite you guys to sponsor a child. I did this with Islamic Relief Malaysia. I informed them my interest through their website, and then they sent me an email, telling me what to do. I fill in the form, make the first contribution.  Within one week they sent me a profile of my sponsored daughter! The feeling was amazing! Her name is Sundas Irfan. She has 5 siblings. She is currently living with her mom (her dad pass-away some time ago). It is my hope that with my little donation, she will get good food and education and then be able to help her family! Isn’t that amazing?! I never met her (and probably I never will) but when I get her picture, I cried (okay…I know I cry over everything! :P)… they said that we can send letters to them but I haven’t done that part…I am still too overly emotional. huhu

The website is http://islamic-relief.org.my/e-khairat/sponsor-a-child/

Do something….do anything! ;)