Was singing
out loud to ‘Pocketful of sunshine’, by Natalie sumtin sumtin when a thought crosses my mind.
Not so long
ago I feel ‘offended’ when ‘friends’ especially married friends,
somehow judge me for not being married (yet). They gave me a long boastful speech on how wonderful their
life is, how perfect they feel when they have their babies, what an amazing
support their husband is and bla bla bla… they talk like I am single by
choice and it is me who refuse commitment and I want to stay single forever
(and ever)…
I remember
feeling hurt and wanting to tell them, please, don’t be too proud with what you have, it is all
fate and life is not forever. In a blink of an eye, that could all go away (and
in a blink of an eye as well, I could have it all, or even better)…
I was bitter
inside and I hated that….
Anyway, what
brings back this memory is that, I am now feeling on top of the world and when
friends said they would very much want that feeling as well, I would start to
say, ‘just believe in fate…Insya Allah’.
Wow….when I heard myself saying that, I get
scared and even concerned.
I am scared
that I will be like that in the future. Judging others and start to feel like I
am better than them.
It is so
hard to keep your feet on the ground when you are bouncing up n down giddily…
It is so
hard not to seem like to be above everyone else when you are floating so
happily….
Ohhh..smoga
kita semua terpelihara dari celaan manusia dan paling utama celaan-Nya…..