Sometimes
things happened and it changed your perspective towards other things.
Things
happened and it somehow opens your eyes and changes your attitude towards other
people.
I
learned a whole new level of heartbreak last week. Even after one week, I can’t
get over it. I’ve been ruminating about blogging this cuz it is supposed to be
kept a secret. After a while I thought there is no harm of sharing as long as I
didn’t give out the details.
Though
no words can exactly describe what I feel after I saw what I saw.
Usually,
each child has their own adults attending to their needs. Kids especially those
ages around 4 or 5 years need attention…they are still struggling to feed
themselves and always need the help of adults in their life. Most of the kids
we know are lucky. They have their parents or siblings or uncles and aunts and
cousins and so on to help them even with the menial task…even to just make sure
they get a goodnight kiss each night.
Imagine
kids who don’t have such pleasure…such help…I was there for them for only about
1 hour or so; to feed one or two of them, help them to pour their drinks and
chat with them, entertained them the way kids love.
I looked around and i feel so helpless. There are more than 20 of
them. They are kids without parents, kids without elder sisters or brothers to
help them with, kids without adults that they can truly rely on. Even if they
do have elder sisters, the sister couldn’t help much, she still need help on
her own. She still needs adults to take care of her.
Saying
goodbye is the hardest bit. Without thinking, I hug and kiss their cheek as we
were saying goodbye, those were the kids that I talked with. Before I know it,
others, perhaps they have been watching me hugging their friends, come over and
say, “boleh hug kah kakak?”…that is how much they deprived love. Of course…I hug
them as I feel my heart breaking to pieces and tears welling up in my eyes.
One
of them asked me, “esok kakak datang agik kah?”…. but she cut herself short.
She knew that is not possible. I knew that is not possible. As badly as I wanted
to, I was not allowed to come and go as I pleased.
In
a way, they are the lucky ones. They have food and shelter. They still get the
attention from those working there. There are people who care and organized
such function for them. Even though it is not that much, but at least they are
not on the streets, starving and cold. They are clean and get the education
they very much needed….
But
compared to us? Who are the lucky ones?!
…