Kisah parenting

So last week I was with one of my colleague, who is much older than me, his daughter is my age! Anyway, as I was entering his room, he was listening to a talk about effective parenting. Spontaneously he asked me if I ever listen to such talk.

My answer is truly simple; I smiled (as usual) and told him that I am not ready for such things.

Quickly he drop his smile and in a serious voice he said, ‘inilah masalah orang kita’…har har har…deep inside I was laughing cuz I couldn’t agree more but yet I am one of the typical orang kita! :p

…it takes me a year to stop being bitter about marriage…so give me few more months to stop being sensitive about parenting and such okey? ;)

I know I don’t really have the excuse to say that but owh well (excuses excuses excuses! Stop giving excuses dear!)…gonna read/listen about parenting maybe starting next month or next two months aite? I promise I will start browsing about parenting as well … ;)

Coincidently enough, parenting has come across my mind quite a lot lately… couldn't really explain why…maybe cuz I am trying to comprehend why people act the way they do and I realized parenting is a big factor in shaping us into who we are now.

Anyway my point is for this entry is, he is right; it is never too early to learn about parenting. (I am 25, how early can it be? Isk) although you are single and it seems like you are nowhere near getting married and such, it is never too early (and never too late either) to learn. Frankly speaking, it is never too late to learn anything….belajarlah kamu seperti kamu akan hidup seribu tahun lagi dan beribadatlah kamu seperti kamu akan mati esok (I totally ruin the phrase but I believe it carries the same meaning)…

Let’s improve ourself! ;)

there's a reason I said I will be happy alone

it wasn't cause I thought I would be happy alone

it was because I thought if i love someone

and that fell apart

I might not make it

It's easier to be alone

because what if you learn that you need love

and then you don't have it

what if you like it and lean on it

what if you shape your life around it

and then it falls apart

can you even survive that kind of pain?

losing love is like organ damage

it's like dying

the only different is death ends

this

it could go on forever

grey's anatomy_season 7 finale

my friend's advice

friend 1 is a health-freak...I know freak is not really a good word...but in this case he is...in a respectful way. He is the 1st guy I met who knows what it takes to be healthy n live by the rules for years. Such discipline deserves a standing ovation from me! (My self-discipline in my eating n work-out habit is crazy terokkk! isk)
anyway, his tips to be healthy n happy is simple...eat healthily, work out and socialize. Eat healthily, work out n socialize (not just in fb! deactivate your fb for a while and start socializing in real world people!)

Then there is this girl. I’ve known her for a while now. i love her so much till years apart can’t even grow any distance between us. over the years i watched her grow into a lady...her laugh changed from hahaha to hihihi ( heh heh...but its true...real lady dont even laugh. they just smile n smile some more)... anyway...her advice to me is pray....and pray....recite al Quran n zikir and always think about our maker... she even gave me a cd full with qasidah n listening to it gives me a sense of tranquility...

3rd friend of mine...he is more direct...more than once he 'slapped' me hard with his words. sometimes he 'shakes' me with his anger. Once in a blue moon he would talk to me nicely (hehe:..yesss! awak jahat dgn saya but I m grateful for that!) and his advice is, be objective. Whenever a problem occurs, study it and set your objective on solving it. dont let your emotion sway your rationality (ok.lets stop here...in this case, for me, its imposibble to decide without puting some feeling into it...so for me, I would balance both...or rather a little bit of emotion and a whole lot of rational thinking...at least that is what I am trying to do..though being a girl we tend to follow our emotion rather than our rational thinking)...

there u go...I have a great great group of friends and my secret is, be friends with everyone...and be a good friend to them...( I hope I m a good friend! ;) ) and they advice me alot! I mean that is what friends are for...besides the seasonal mintak chia..haha...

Between just friends and more than a friend… PART 1

So mix.fm dilly’s daily dilemma today is;

Today's dilemma comes in from Mr. B who has a close friend who has been his shoulder to cry on for the past 4 yrs. And he's now fallen for her but hasn't told her yet. But she's suddenly been avoiding him for the past 2 wks and he doesn't know why. Any advice? (taken from here )

Dearest Mr.B,

Call her one last time, if she didn’t answer, text her. Text her and ask her if she is ok. Let her know that if she is in trouble, she can always come to you. Then let her be. She is an adult. She can take care of herself and as badly as you miss her, let her be! Give her some space and when she is ready, she will come back to you. If she never do, means she don’t even appreciate you as a friend…do u want someone who couldn’t even appreciate you as a friend, be your lifetime partner? Think RATIONALLY! Be a man and think rationally.

Be a man and think rationally!

Be a man…

me...n you

"Not everyone see things like u do, so before you say anything, think how it may imply to others"

I see rainbow after each rain...when there is none, i would still find joy in seeing the clearer n somehow 'cleaner' sky....i see silver lining behind every dark clouds.... i see pretty clouds on hot stuffy day...

Most of the time i wanna see the best in you...and when things turn around i would somehow appear surprised...but the truth is i am not dat surprised...i totally get it why some people act the way they did...sometimes it does baffle me but even that pass quickly...you see...i m too busy to be happy, to let such thoughts linger around in my brain...

I m not always like this...in the past i was in a very dark place. Now that i let some light into my life, i wanna keep it as bright as possible for as long as possible for we do not know what will fall upon us tomorrow.

My dearest friend....i do wanna make u a bright-orange person. I know you've gone through alot. I know you've been in pain for so long, till you feel numb. When the pain is too much for you to handle, someone would be ur punching bag. If its far worse, you would breakdown n cry....and that is ok. Crying helps...it does...breakdown helps...we r human...with thoughts n feelings...

Sometimes your emotion hijack your rationality and when that happens, you failed to appear cool n collected as u always do...but that's ok. What's not ok is if you refuse to be better and let the hijacking happens again n again n again...that is unfair..unfair to u n the people surrounding u...

Friend...find your inner strength...tuhan xkan menguji kita lebih dari yang kita mampu hadapi...but being human, most of us give up far too easily...we let our emotion control our thoughts n most of the time the results r disastrous. Stop it! U r stronger...much stronger...

Find ur inner solace n u will be better....insya allah

Please don’t let all the pain n misery in your life turn you into someone bitter and full with hatred.

I would be lying if I told you I don’t feel sad or grief or pain anymore…but I am telling you the truth if I told you I am healing nicely…slowly but nicely… :) and I wish you the same…

Selfish or just surviving?

The more people we met, the more we realized how different yet the same we are!

So there is this girl who is crazy selfish (according to some people)…

She is still a student and should any info regarding any sort of extra class or replacement class fall into her hand, she would definitely not share the info with her other classmates. Then days after the class itself she would casually ask her absents friends why didn’t they attend the class (annoying much? Iskk). If she gets any lecture notes from anyone, she would remind the person not to tell anyone else about the notes. Get the idea?

So, surely her classmates describe her as selfish and ‘hated’ her for that.

My question is, (she is definitely selfish. That is the definition of selfish…) but how wrong is she?

I totally gets the idea of sharing cuz my mom thought me a lotttttttt about sharing. Plus growing up with 2 sisters teach me a lotttttt about sharing everything that can be shared. So of course I am one of the regular people who would share info and notes with my classmates…(baik la konon…chaittt)…haha

But how can it be her fault of not wanting to share the info with the rest of the class? (Of coz it is considered irresponsible should the lecturer asked her to tell her classmates about the replacement and she didn’t but that is different case)…the case here is, she gets the info and it’s not her responsibility to spread it, if others has been on alert just as she was, they too would get the info just as she did…so why is it her fault again?

About the notes…some people are crazy competitive and not wanting to share her lecture notes is totally up to her. That is how she protected her right….if only others has been as hardworking as she is, they too would get the notes…

So is it safe to say that sometimes it is not wrong to be selfish?…she is just trying to survive like the rest of us. She just do it differently and unfortunately annoyingly to the rest of us…right?

My point is, before you labeled others, do try to be in their shoe… ;)

this aint a sweet life...anymore

so yesterday i chat with one of my girlfriend...we were talking about what is it about boys/guys nowadays wanna rush into a marriage just after knowing the girl less than a month?

i can truly understand it if the feeling is mutual but how can someone felt the girl is his soulmate when the girl barely feels like she is his girlfriend? worst when she feels like they are just getting to know each other...not even friends yet...extreme case of perasan...not kidding...being in a relationship means there are 2 of u...take note of the other half okay?

now...let’s get back to my real topic today... :p

...it aint a sweet life

so we were talking about guys desperate attempt to find a wife and when the girl said no, they will quickly move on...too quickly...it’s like they were saying,"Ok, so u dont want to marry me. bye'...seconds later," Who is next?"
To some people it might sound heartless...but it is something that I can comprehend. It will come a point in your life when you truly know what you want and if it didn’t work out, you are matured enough not to mourn over it too long. Ur immune mind n heart (immune of heartbreak) will quickly find a way to get out of the pain and thus you will move on far more quickly.

True enough, for some time you tend to look back n it aches now n then but that wouldn’t stop you from living your life. That is when other people might see you as being heartless or you are just not that into ur ex...so what? Let people think what they want…it’s you who truly feel the pain n joy…not them!
When i was younger, i believe that we can control our feelings n emotion. It’s true that we can’t help whom we fall in love with. However, if it’s a 'forbidden love' we can always stop ourselves from falling too far. Believe me, it is possible. That is why there is such term as “move on”! ;)

So girls, this aint a sweet life anymore. I know back in the high school, when we dump our boyfriend, most of them would be left heartbroken and sad for quite a long time and you feel that’s how thing should be. Should they move on far too quickly, your girlfriends and you will simply label him as a ‘playboy’ and that was it. However this is no longer high school. This is the real life. When you broke someone’s heart (no matter what the reason is), they will leave you and move on. That is what we called surviving. Surely you are matured enough not to get mad when they didn’t mourn your lost for too long right? :p

This is life. Prioritize. And being sad shouldn’t be anywhere in your priority list.

Quick tips for moving on;

1. Cry
2. Stop crying
3. Exercise/ just sweat out your frustration! Once I mop my house from top to bottom. By the end of it I was sweating like crazy but feel great! Plus my mum was so pleased with me she cooked me sumthin nice..haha
4. Start a project…eg paint your bedroom wall! Gardening! etc
5. Socialize! Make new friends..meet old friends…
6. Be happy! Seriously..life is too short for you to spend feeling sorry for yourself!
7. DO NOT START LOOKING FOR THE NEXT GUY! I repeat..do not! If its time, then you will fall in love again..if its him then he will swept you off your feet….do not jump into another relationship just cause you are terribly lonely (like me..huhu… I am lonely..single and lonely…but I am happy…it has been a while since my life become this simple! )

be happy people...and you will start receiving positive energy in your life... ;)

i rarely read horoscope or such...but i do it sometimes n i find it quite amusing....like today's horoscope reading for Leo;

For a while now, you've been biting your tongue about a controversial topic. Fear of confrontation is a common concern, but don't let this fear keep you from making your stance clear. If you keep holding back how you really feel, the feeling may die -- and it doesn't deserve that. Respect your emotions by sharing them. You know what you need to say to someone, so say it. After you do, you'll immediately feel liberated and more powerful than ever.

really? i have to share what i feel? what i've been holding back? haha....sure enough if i do as the reading tell me....ntah...god knows what happen...but even i know nothing good will come out of it now...i know it far too well..so lets hold back some more and pray things will get better! ;)

found this in my old blog...i posted it about 3years ago ( feb 21st 2008)...n i realized how little i've changed...but yet i feel so different..(okay...confusing statement by fiela! iskk)

anyway...here it goes...

Updates Updates! Plus “Moving On”

Thursday, February 21st, 2008

1. I’m no longer attached to anyone. I’m friends with everyone.
2. I’m gaining weight! (Duhh….that’s not new…it’s a continuous situation in my life)
3. I’m allergic to chocolate (ahaha…as if)…

Well…I’m just
bored. Feels like wanna type something but didn’t know what to share with all
of you.

Lets talk about
moving on shall we? OK. Moving on. Hurm.When we’re reading
a page, once we’re done with one page, we’ll switch to next page right? We won’t
stay at the page hoping it’ll change to next page themselves right?

Life is all about
moving on. Everyday, we do our chores. One after another. We don’t want to
waste too much time on one chores and causing us to unable to complete another.

We should apply
that in other aspect of our life.

Once we get hurt,
we cried. We feel so broken. We cried. We get angry and very upset. We cry. We
fight and scream. We cry. (Or I’m just the one who cry that much? Hehe)

What I’m trying to
say is, it’s ok to cry or to mourn. ( Cry sik semestinya menangis tersedu2
meleleh air mata. Cry means bersedih la. Aiya)

Mourn for yourself
sometime. Feel pity for yourself. Allow you to feel upset and feel low.

But please don’t do
unforgiveable things. For example, no matter how sad you are, it is still
sinful to murder a person. OK? Keep that in mind.

Just that, make
sure you’ll rise again after each cry. Rise again soon enough. Keep in mind
that life is short. If you want to taste everything, you shouldn’t waste too
much time on just one thing.

If you want to
taste the cheesecake as well, don’t eat the whole chocolate cake. By eating one
whole chocolate cake, you’ll feel too full and you won’t be able to enjoy the
cheesecake after that. And don’t take too long to taste the cheesecake. The
taste might change after sometime. Get the idea?

So…move on ok? Life
is too short. So many things to do, so little time to spend.