Thursday, April 28, 2011

Empathy part 2


Empathy means “the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings,
thoughts, or attitudes of another.‟

I am still on this topic cuz someone said something to me yesterday and it broke my heart.

A friend of mine and I was talking when we suddenly start to talk a little about me. I tell that
friend about how I feel regarding what I‟ve been through emotionally for the past couple of
years. Before I knew it, I let my guard-down and at that moment of time, I appear weak in my
friend‟s eye.

Based on what my friend told me after that, gives me the idea that that friend is actually
some sort of „disgusted‟ (couldn‟t find a better word to describe it! )…well…that friend is
some sort of „disgusted‟ at my weakness. My friend is going through a bigger issue in life and
seeing me being weak make that friend feels like I am belittling my friend‟s problem.

It broke my heart cuz sometimes I need a soft spot to fall. I have been holding myself
together for so long and why owh why at the moment I choose to „let go‟ a little, I am being
judged? And being told straight to my face that, “you are weak!”…

I told myself that I am strong and that person just didn‟t know me that deep…thus I hold no
grudge! :P

I remember telling myself that I do not need to explain this to my friend…but I am sharing this
here cuz I hope at least someone read this and learn to have more empathy and sympathy in
their heart.

I am not asking you to console each and everyone but think before you judge and think twice
before you say anything. It is better not to say anything at all then. It wouldn‟t hurt you to be
nicer to others and it would make you feel better if you can make someone feel better.

We all need reality check from time to time but if a friend is just looking for a shoulder to
lean on, don‟t give her a slap-in-the-face instead...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

updet


saja nak merosak bahasa petang ni....tetiba terasa nak ber-blog dalam bahasa ibunda....well xder la bahasa ibunda sangat sebab bahasa ibunda diri ini adalah melayu sarawak, sedangkan kat sini guna melayu malaya...heh heh

by the way, apa by the way dalam bahasa melayu? di kesempatan itu agaknya ek?

ok2...

di kesempatan ini

hmm...macam pelik....xmampu nak translate...so guna je la by the way

by the way...(skarang dah lupa apa nak d cakap tadi! iskhhhh)

ohhh.....dah ingat...haha

by the way, do you guys know that i can talk a little melanau dalat n a little melanau bintulu? ;p

mok show off rupanya..padanla sik ingat! haha

hari ni super busy! kerja dengan seorang perfectionist banyak mengajar...membuatkan diri ini sedar betapa tak telitinya buat kerja sebenarnya...

tapi bila di fikir2 balik, kadang2 memang kita tak sedar kesilapan tersebut sampailah benda tu dah di print dan di baca someone else....

minda ni, mampu skimming-reading...maksudnya membaca dengan pantas tanpa betul2 membaca dengan teliti...tambah2 lagi kalau melibatkan dokumen yang banyak...

hah...buat alasan lagi! ;p

lately banyak memandu ke tempat kerja dan satu masalah yang agak menguji kesabaran di atas jalan raya adalah ketidakretian sesetengah pemandu menggunakan lampu isyarat bila perlu. Ramai sebenarnya hingga boleh diklasifikasi atau being generalized. biasanya pemandu kereta mewah seperti mercedece (macam mana ejaan??), bmw, harrier atau kenderaan2 besar seperti hilux dan kaum kerabatnya dan juga kereta-kereta kecil seperti kancil adalah pemandu2 yang sukarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr sangat nak guna signal!

paling bahaya di roundabout! more than once i almost stop di tengah2 roundabout sebab tak pasti kereta d sebelah nak pergi lurus or macam mana...belum kira emergency break sebab kereta di hadapan tetiba slow sebab nak masuk junction! nasib baik saya bukan jenis yang memandu rapat dengan kereta depan...i keep the extra safe distance sebab benda-benda macam ni la....kalo ekot org yg tengah marah, dia akan kata mcm ni,"u ingat jalan ni bapak u yang punya?"...thus explain your disrespect to other drivers! have some respect la wei...it can safe lives!

rules dia simple, if you are on the second lane (middle lane from the 3 lanes roundabout) or on the first outer lane, you need to keep a signal to the right at all time (masa pusing itu roundabout la!) and change it to left-signal when you wannna masuk your desired junction!

kan simple...sangat simple dan menyenangkan semua pihak....and this implies to all motorcyclist as well! tolong lerrrr...

apa lagi? owh..itu sahaja...saya mau pulang..hihi..mini traffic-jammed di roundabout-roundabout samarahan mesti dah reda! ;)

later peeps! enjoy your life ok? xmo negatif2! bila fikiran negatif datang, cepat2 mengucap pastu senyum.... :) insya Allah you will feel better...keep your mind open and positive, nescaya perkara yang baik2 akan datang kepadamu... :)


Friday, April 22, 2011

Empathy

It breaks my heart knowing some people didn’t have empathy at all.
It is true we cant help hurting the person we love sometimes, let alone the one we fall out of love with...
But how did u have the heart to make her/his life as miserable as it can be?
Where is your empathy?
Ada pepatah melayu mengatakan, 'jauh berjalan, luas pengalaman'...
so my question is, haven’t your experiences teach you enough?
Or you are just too narcissistic to really learn anything life has taught you?

And my other question is, how can someone like me, who barely have any experience can feel the empathy? Don’t tell me I m not in the situation thus I do not understand.
I am in the situation... I am not just the spectator here. So where and how did you manage to act so heartlessly? Worst to the person you've known for years....the person u once loved so dearly...

One of the greatest lesson life taught me was...we are nobody. Who are we to judge, let alone to punish anyone for the wrong things they did.

Cermin diri dulu. Kalau insan sesempurna Rasulullah SAW lagi mampu memaafkan...apatah lagi kita insan hina?

Stop dear...please stop...hurting and humiliating her/him wont get you anywhere...it will only backfire...and one day you will regret for things you said or did...

Please...stop...move on and be happy...let her/him be happy as well...you both deserves to be happy...

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The young n the old (tempat makan)

Its almost lunch break....time tu i was at the prof's office

Friend: jom makan prof...
Prof: awalnye nak makan...kejap lagi lah...nak makan mana ni?
Friend: xtau....dr.a cakap nak makan kat denymas
Prof: dekat dekat situ kan ader kdai tu...aper nama dia.... (sambil dahi berkerut try nk igt)
Friend: oten prof?
Prof: haaa....makan kat situ lah...jap lagi jap....kita pergi 1230 lah. Ade nak dbetulkan ni...nanti lupa
Friend: ok.bgtau dr.a kejap

So at 1230 the six of us went to oten. Camna leh jd 6 org sy pun xtau.tetiba ramai pengikut arini.hehe

Setibanya d oten...br nk masuk carpark oten ni

Friend yg driving: ramainye orang. (memang ramai pun..)
Prof: memanglah ramai.oten ni masak panas2.sebab tu ramai. Pergi pusing kat depan tu.kat depan tu leh pusing....

Lain sume senyap sbb blurr...so kesimpulannya nk makan sini ke aper?
P driver ekot je arahan prof....dia pun pusing la kreta...tetiba

Prof: denymas masak siap2.sebab tu cepat. Oten ni xde masak siap2. (kreta yg tgh bergerak perlahan trus stop..haha..driver stressed!)

Friend: sini pun ade masak siap2 prof.
Prof: eh...ade ke?
Driver: macam mn ni? Nak makan mn ni?
Me: g pusing kat depan g....(hahaha....kerek!)
Prof: jap g cek jap. (xckp aper2 g dia klua kreta n g tgk dlm kedai makan kot2 ader lauk utk nasi campur.)

Another friend: ok...jalan2....(dia ckp kat driver...soh tinggalkan prof tu situ la....)

Haha...jahattttt....prof tu dhle pangkat bapak to most of us kat situ.... :p

Xlm pastu prof dtg balik smbil senyum n put his thumb up...means okle tu....pastu prof pun menghilangkan diri ke dlm kedai....

Kami lak kena la pusing kreta once again n park d car....

Masuk je dlm kdai...tgk2 prof dah siap ceduk dua tiga lauk ke dlm pinggan...haha......sabo je la.....

:p


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Morning walk

Just got back from my morning walk...

Just months ago my morning walk was my walk to eki then taking the train to shinjuku or shibuya or kayabacho or gyotoku...then i will walk aimlessly before meeting my friends somewhere...

Today my morning walk is round n round the park near home... along it i met people sweeping up dried leaves...smelling the nasi goreng...hearing the birds chirping....hearing the chicken clucking(?)....dogs barking...but it all in one sweet harmony....

The conclusion is, i m missing japan but kuching is my homeland n if i have to stay here for the rest of my life, it wouldnt be a problem....
But if i have to stay oversea since i m marrying a pakistani boy soon...its ok as well.....ehhhhh? Hahahaha.... :p
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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Can u keep a secret?

Shhhhh....wanna hear a secret?
I have a secret that i wanna share with you....
Can you?
Can u keep it as a secret?
So that it'll be our secret..
Will you tell someone else?
And tell her to keep it as a secret?
And she will tell someone else and tell that someone to keep it as a secret....

:p

Naaahhhh....u cant keep a secret then.....let me keep it till i m ready to tell the world! *wink*wink*
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The young n the old part two

....prof dan saya tengah buat kerja editing di komputer ofiznya....saya tukang edit sambil menerima arahan prof tentang mana perenggan yg perlu di tukar dan sebagainya....
Beliau ni jenis yang cakap pun lemah lembut. Prof ni lelaki...sudah agak berusia...older than my dad rasanya....tapi wise sangat dan walaupun professor dlm bidang life-science, tetapi beliau juga mendalami ilmu psychology....anyway...berbalik kepada cerita kita.....

Prof: ok...yang ni, ni dan ni tutup dulu. (Sambil menunjuk beberapa window di skrin komputer)
Me: (dgn pantas menutup ke semua window yang beliau nyatakan).....
Prof: (bercakap dgn lemak lembut smbil melambai2kan tangan)...Jangan....jangan...
Me: jangan aper prof?
Prof: Jangan buat macam tu.....

Hahaha ...rupanya prof tu xtahan tgk sy yg g men klik klik klik je sepantas kilat kat komputer tu...hehe....org romantik(prof) jumpa ngn org hyperactive(me), memang la jd mcm tu.... :p

Hehe...sorry prof....
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The young n the old

...kisah ini berlaku pagi tadi di bilik seorang professor....

Me: prof, aper password untuk laptop prof ni? (Sambil memusing laptop tersebut ke arah prof dgn niat memudahkan beliau menaip password tersebut)
Prof: kalau saya bagi awak seribu tahun pun awak takkan dapat teka password tu. (Beliau terus menyambung kerja tanpa mengendahkan laptop yg di beri)...
Me: ...(tersengih sorang)...
Prof: password dia 'masaklemak' ....m dan l huruf besar
Me: ....(tergelak kecil)....hehehe.....(sambil menaip password yang di beri...p xleh...)
Me: Aper prof? MASAK LEMAK ek prof?
Prof: uishhhhh....jangan kuat sangat!
Me: (gelak xleh kontrol dah)..ehehe....sorry....
Prof: owh...bukan 'masaklemak'....cube 'masakmerah'....

Hahaha...... :p
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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

pray for japan


it has been a month

and today another strong quake shook Japan….at 7.4 on the Richter Scale, that is strong enough to sway light buildings…it is strong enough to scare you out of your skin! It is strong enough to remind you that hidup ini hanyalah sementara

I am safe…Alhamdulillah…but nobody can understand how I truly feels…how we truly feels. We whom fled home at the moment the disaster strike. What we did at that time is survival but what we are feeling right now is being human.

Someone told me, “ajal, kat mana2 pun takleh nak lari..kalo dah ajal”

No dear…Allah bagi kita akal agar mampu berfikir untuk menyelamatkan diri bila perlu. Sedangkan haiwan lagi mengerti, apatah lagi kita yang punya akal…

by the way, berapa kali dah awak join kawan2 awak nyer trip ke Sendai? Trip yang diaorang buat untuk hantar makanan ke evacuees center tu…eh…xtau ek diaorang ader buat trip tu? Xper…awak tak tau… ;)

Right now my heart goes out to all the survivor of Sendai. Stay strong. Allah is with you always and always. Never regret what had happened. Everything happens for a reason. Have faith better things are coming your way… insya Allah.

For those who lost someone in the disaster…you are missing your love ones..it can be unbearable…but you know how strong you are…and I admire your strength..

Xder per yang leh nak di cakap sebenarnya…tiap kali find out ada big earthquake kat sana, hati rasa di carik2. Tringat pengalaman sendiri. Sesaat mata terasa basah teringat pulak kat kawan2 yang masih di sana. Seminit hati terasa sayu mengenangkan mangsa tsunami yang tiada lagi tempat berteduh dan berterusan dalam keadaan kurang selesa, dan kini gegaran kuat menguji kecekalan hati mereka. Anak-anak kecil yang tak mengerti apa…ibu dan bapa yang tak lagi mampu untuk melindungi diri sendiri apatah lagi anak-anak…

Ya Allah…berikanlah kekuatan kepada kami untuk mengharungi segalanya….sesungguhnya pada-Mu kami berserah…


You Are Calm and Optimistic




You Are Calm and Optimistic



You have a tranquil and peaceful outlook on life. You are thankful for every small miracle.

You think that it's important to keep the peace, even if it means swallowing your pride.



You expect the best in people, and you hold everyone you know to high ethical standards.

You are kind and compassionate. You treat people well, and you believe in second chances.


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

reflection


there is this person i knew
lets call that person 'pumpkin'

so pumpkin recently went through a really bad breakup
the relationship that lasted for years suddenly gone overnight
surely pumpkin see this coming months before
but being pumpkin, pumpkin didn't give up and try and try and try to make it work
but pumpkin's partner has fall out of love with pumpkin
and when that happened, nothing much can be done

love is a feeling and i believe we can't fake it
how much can we fake our own feelings?
we can pretend for a day or two..or maybe a month or two...then what happened?

but the thing about being an adult is, we have our responsibility
relationship is not entirely about love
its not like taylor swift's song
its a far more realistic than that
we cant fake loving someone...but we can try to love them
to accept them as who they are
to respect their strengths as well as their flaws
accepting them while encouraging them to be a better person

pumpkin told me
the thing about being realistic is, if we are too realistic, we tend to be pessimist
and i couldn't argue with that
the world is so much colder than it is
as i grow up and meet people, i realized the sweetest person can be the one who has the "hati paling busuk'

but being me, i want to stay as realistic as i can be
but i also refuse to let go of my 'fairy-tale' dream
i know i can find a balance

someone told me that i want an 'idealistic' partner!
someone told me,'stop my angelic attitude!

and in my mind i scream! WHAT? so i have to settle with whomever?! so i have to behave like crazy rude n such?

sometimes people said crazy things to me and drive me crazy!

i m not an angel...i know my flaws..but i am trying and trying to be the best i can...being human, sometimes i lost it and went crazy! that is me...



i have no idea what is the main point of this post..i am lost as well...haha....
ambik yang baik, buang yg buruk ok... ;)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Cant keep what is not mine


What is yours is yours to keep and what is mine, is mine…

Right now I am taking care of something that truly does not belong to me.

Being me, I get emotionally attached

Today something happened and it makes me realized I can’t keep it forever

Should anyone else asked for it, I have to let it go and hand it to that person..Hopefully a better person

A better person who can take care of it better than I already did

I am sad…I felt like I have lost so many things in recent years

And nothing can ever replace what I have lost

But I know the ordeal I went through to survive the lost is priceless

I’ve learned so much and I am still learning

I also know my experience is nothing compared to yours….

I am sorry…

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Menyempat

Tgh tggu zerd coming out from her hotel room..she is staying at merdeka palace...as a local,i dont think i would advc tourist to stay here. I would suggest them to stay either at crown plaza, fort margharita or hilton instead. Not only the hotel service are better but also because it is located at the heart of the tourist spot. Within walking-distance as well,u can take the perahu tambang to reach to the other side of kuching (seberang..which is the petra jaya)..where the malays village are located...n u can enjoy local malay food there.

Nuff bout that. S i am waiting..i turn off my car engine...green-lover...but now i m starting to sweat...hhuhu..panas bah kuching...camney tok? Nak tinggalkan kreta camya jak,i dint park at the designated place..pcoma knak saman lak.huhu

Ok...lets get the update

Update bout my life ler... :p

I have started working...i m getting overwhelmed sometimes... i m nervous all the time but excited at the same time....


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