....that's how i feel right now...every time i close my eyes, i see the 'setan' running away with my handbag...then how they stare at me from their from-hell-motorcycle.... when i close my eyes...i feel my heart pumping full-with-anger-and-regret blood to every inch of my body...and all i can do is take a deep breath and let it go....

...but no...i'm not the type of person who easily let go of something that i really treasured. The most treasured things taken from me was the gift he gave me. Something he has been using for years and holding it in my palms, gives me that closeness feeling to him. That is what i miss the most right now and that is what drives me so mad and angry....

...i curse all the thieves that ever exist in this world. The one who thought they are so successfully living in their stealing world!...the food they eat is never halal and the things they do never 'diredhai'....wait till the judgement day!

Location: Teacher’s Room SMK **

It is school holiday but no holiday for the teachers. At least not for the Guru Sandaran & Guru Ganti. I'm not really complaining since I only have to be here for four hours each day and after all I have lots to do anyway. Yup! Marking the students exam paper, and since I'm the class teacher, I need to fill in the marks in the Report Card and do the marks statistics..isk…now I'm complaining… :P Temporary teacher and have a class to monitor….huwaaaaa……worse….its one of the worst form 1 class in the school. Isk.

I'm the class teacher for 1k. Have to teach them P.Seni and P.Moral. Yup! Hahahaha….my former classmates would have laugh their head off(isk) when they heard this. They know, everyone knows how much Fiela hates P.Seni back then and now she has to teach P.Seni! :P Its not really hard actually. I just have to prepare examples of the drawings that I want them to draw that day, which I can simply get from the calendar and magazines. Worst come to worst, I just asked them to draw anything they like.

However, this is not an ordinary school. Here, the teachers have to do all the extra works. For example, it is my responsibility to bring the drawing paper for any class I'll be teaching P.Seni that day, or else, they won't have any paper to draw onto. If I want their drawings to be nicely colored, it's up to me to prepare the color pencils or crayon. Sometimes, they don't have any pencils and eraser! Is this a 'poor-student' school? No! The students bring hand-phone to the school! They just fail to put aside some money to buy their school-stuffs!

What makes it worst is the students, about 5-8 of them who are really 'attention-deprived' students and just drives me mad each and every time. I really can't stand this group of students. So noisy and rude! They didn't care how mad I am…they don't care how noisy they are….they don't care that they are interrupting me teaching the class…they didn't care at all. They didn't care that there's a teacher in front of the class, waiting for them to be quiet so she can start talking to the whole class. They just don't care! When the entire class shivers because of my angriness, they could laugh and joke around! And yes, I am a 'garang' teacher when the class is so noisy n out of control. But perhaps not garang enough for them…..isk…..

Yes. I am complaining! It can be observes that the teacher are working so hard to help the students, when the students don't really care. I feel sorry for these students!

"kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga"

Isu Beli Seat Konvo!

Isk….alkisahnya tersebarlah berita mengatakan fiela mok beli seat konvo.

Bukan Bukan!

Maksud fiela adalah, mun ada seat kosong, dari mana2 graduan yg parentsnya sikpat datang, fiela mok. N I quote, "mun seat ya termasuk dalam bayaran yuran, fiela akan bayar!" dats wat I meant! Bukannya bermaksud fiela akan beli seat ya! It is totally unethical to me!

Masa tulis notis ya, I'm not sure if the seat was included in the convo fee or not. Alu ada la sorang tok bermurah hati menjual kan seat nya kepada fiela dengan harga yang sik terlalu murah. Sorry…but I have pride. I do have the money…but 'sik kerana fiela ada duit, fiela leh beli segalanya'

Ya lah tek…harapan bah…cek cek dewan nang kosong time konvo! Kamek nak ngembak spuloh orang masuk pun boleh. HaHaHaHa

So tutup kes!

Pengajarannya…

entahlah....

Fiela pun sik tauk apa pengajarannya.

Maybe pengajaran kepada si penjual kot. Janganla segalanya di jual….isk

Alasan Lelaki Menamatkan Zaman Bujang…

Antara 11 alasan golongan lelaki bersedia mengakhiri zaman bujang:

 

Pelengkap hidup

Lelaki merasakan bahawa setiap fasa hidup yang mereka tempuhi sudah menghampiri ke tahap yang sempurna. Mempunyai pekerjaan yang tetap, kewangan yang mencukupi dan memiliki pasangan yang serasi, membuatkan mereka memikirkan masa depan yang lebih bahagia dengan sebuah ikatan perkahwinan.

 

Hidup lebih terurus

Mungkin selama ini dia kurang mendapat perhatian daripada orang tuanya. Semua perkara yang diperlukan, dinikmati seorang diri. Sehingga dia memerlukan seseorang yang mampu membuatkan dirinya berasa nyaman dan dapat memenuhi setiap keperluan hariannya.

 

Kewangan yang mantap

Dia telah mempunyai sumber kewangan yang tetap yang dianggap sebagai modal untuk mengharungi alam rumah tangga bersama pasangan yang dicintai.

 

Bosan hidup membujang

Bagi lelaki yang sudah puas mengharungi pahit dan manis selama hidup membujang, pernikahan adalah solusi terakhir yang dianggap tepat untuk mereka keluar dari situasi kebosanan.

Walaupun kenikmatan hidup membujang membuatkan dia berasa dirinya aman dan tiada kongkongan hidup, tetapi lama-kelamaan, dia akan merasakan hidupnya kosong tanpa wanita di sisi.

 

Terlalu menyintai

Saat merasa cintanya terlalu mendalam terhadap pasangannya, hatinya menjadi semakin egois untuk memiliki kamu, kekasih paling disayangi.

Untuk memastikan pasangannya tidak berpaling tadah terhadap lelaki lain, jalan terbaik yang harus ditempuhi adalah dengan memutuskan alasan untuk menikah. Dalam hati kecilnya, pasti menyedari bahawa hidup tanpa si dia seperti tinggal di dalam dunia yang tidak penghuni.

 

Sudah bersedia

Dari segi mental dan fizikalnya, dia merasakan sudah bersiap sedia untuk melanjutkan hubungan ke alam pernikahan. Bagi lelaki, mereka memerlukan masa untuk membuat persiapan mental sebelum memasuki ke gerbang perkahwinan.

 

Ingin punyai keturunan

Seperti juga kaum wanita, sebahagian besar lelaki menginginkan keturunan yang boleh dibanggakan.

 

Cepatkan hubungan intim

Hubungan cinta yang dijalinkan sejak sekian lama begitu menguji kesetiaan dan pemikiran pasangan bercinta. Bagi mereka, bertengkar dan cemburu sememangnya menjadi fitrah dalam kehidupan seharian. Disebabkan itu juga, mereka memutuskan untuk bernikah selain dapat mengukuhkan hubungan intim.

 

Secocok

Mereka merasakan kamu dan dirinya seperti kepingan puzzle yang saling melengkapi. Mempunyai minat dan hobi yang sama, tahu akan karakter masing-masing dan pandai menyingkap setiap persoalan di antara kamu berdua. Baginya, tiada orang lain yang dapat memahami dirinya selain kamu, kekasih sejati.

 

Desakan orang tua

Sekadar memenuhi tuntutan orang tua, membuatkan seorang lelaki mengajak pasangannya berkahwin. Hal ini antara lain adalah kerana orang tuanya sudah uzur dan tidak sabar melihat anaknya hidup bahagia di samping cucu-cucu mereka atau melihat anaknya sudah secocok dengan pasangannya.

 

Desakan kekasih

Lelaki akan berasa tercabar sekiranya mereka dipaksa melakukan sesuatu perkara yang dianggap belum bersedia.

...Short but sweet....

It's simple and short but sweet and brings tears to my eyes.

I was invited for a 'lunch' last Sunday. She invited me as if it was a casual lunch so being me; I'm late about half an hour than planned. When I arrived, I feel nothing except for the glaring sun and I remember complaining what a hot day it was as I step out of my car. Oh yeah, not mentioning the warmness I felt when I see baby-bink parked in the house porch and my giggle when I realize that the house-owner's car is actually park outside the house, perhaps to provide shelter to baby-bink? Isk…

The greeting I receive as I enter the house was the high-pitch voice saying, "Naper lambat?" hahaha…sorry sis….didn't mean to keep aaaaall of you waiting. Isk.

Holding the ice-cream (that I bought earlier), slowly I walk into the kitchen area. Then everything was a blurr. I remember being surprised but smilling when I saw one of the girls are recording the moment, but still it hasn't occurred to me anything.

Then…"Happy birthday to you…"…hahaha…they sang that song. Turning around, I saw a half-melted ( :P ) chocolate cake on the table….with 2 big candles and 2 small candles..hehehe… I was surprised…. It was a very sweet surprise…it was a very unforgettable surprise..it was a very emotional surprise…it was a very simple and short but sweet surprise.

It was a surprise that I love the most through my 22 years of living because not in my slightest thought thinks that they were holding a surprise birthday party for me. Not at all…and I love it so much…thank you so much….you know who you are…it is something so deep and I truly appreciate it. Thank you so much….

The yummy yummy food…especially the yummy yummy cake…I was so surprised that I forgot to take any pictures…huwaaa….but the cake was so yummy yummy yummy…. :P

…me and beloved baby bink…bergamba tgh panas...demi baby bink terchenta...hahaha….

…on the way home….kenyang…happy…but missing him badly... :(

...the gifts from nihon... :D

Students owh students…..

Sometimes I get so stressed up with my new work. I knew that teaching is not that easy and simple. But the facts that the students are really 'kurang ajar' really drained up all my energy. Sometimes, I just ignore them and continue teaching in that noisy-out-of-control environment and feel awfully sorry for those who really want to learn. More than few times, I enter the class silently not even answering their greetings. I smile weakly to 'my sweethearts' in the class then sit down at the teacher's chair till the class settle down. This takes them about 15-20 minutes. Then I would start writing some notes on the blackboard and the 'devils' start to loose their mind again. Explaining time is more painful. I have to raise my voice to make sure my voice can be heard for whoever wants to learn. Asking the class to be quiet is just wasting my time and my voice. At the end of the day, I feels like I have no voice left.

But I do love teaching. Teaching my sweethearts. I called this group of students my sweetheart because that's who they are. They are not angel but they are no devil either. They are just normal kids and reminds me of my own beloved brother. Yes, they get naughty and tease me from time to time but they know their limits. They listen (or at least pretend to) when I explain things to the whole class. And they are the ones who makes me love my job despite the heavy workload…and trust me when I said teachers do have heavy workloads…especially those who are involve with the school management. As for me, being a form teacher for a problematic class is more than enough for me to handle. You have to meet the pengetua and the guru disiplin and the cikgu kaunseling. Not mentioning that you have to contact the parents and so on.

Isk. Most students are attention-deprived nowadays and school is where they get most attention and that is why they are behaving that way.

Immaturity

Sometimes feels like you’r in a black deep hole, unable to get out… unable to do anything. You feel so hopeless with yourself. You badly want things to change, you want things to be better for yourself, but you are too lazy to do anything...

Perhaps this is what happens when you have been spoon-fed since you’re a baby until you can drive a car. Hehe…how irony…not mentioning that I’m turning 22 real soon. 22 years old. Who would have thought, fiela has been breathing in this world for 22 years old and she still can’t make her own wise decision.