Cikgu!

As I step into the class.

“Selamat Pagi Cikgu!” The class monitor said. “Seeeelamat Paaagi Cikguuu!” Echoed by the others.

As I walk into the teachers desk at the other end of the class, “Cikgu! Saya nak ke tandas!”

As I was writing on the blackboard, the attacks become more vicious.

“Cikgu! Dia pukul saya!”

“Cikgu! Bagi dia dimerit cikgu!”

“Cikgu, dia duduk di tempat saya cikgu!”

I turned around and gave them few warnings. They become quiet for a while. Then I turn back to write more notes on the dusty-chalky blackboard. Few seconds later…

“Cikgu! Dia ambil pen saya!”

“Cikgu! Dia curi buku saya!"

“Cikgu! Dia conteng buku saya!”

“Cikgu! Dia kacau saya!”

“Cikgu! Dia koyakkan buku saya!”

I ignore them as I can’t entertain these attention-looking students. After few shouts and nag a little, the class become quiet and they did pay attention to my explanation. Then I asked them to do some exercise. Few students start writing right away. Others…

“Cikgu! Muka surat berapa?”

“Cikgu! Buat apa cikgu?”

Others start walking around and distract their friends. Worst case, they walk straight out of the class. Just to hear me screaming their name. Isk. Then they stop. And start asking me what to do and I would pray, “Ya Allah, berikanla aku kesabaran”.

Patiently, I walked over their desk and help them to open the pages. Explain one by one to these attention-seekers students, and let them started to do their work.

After a while….

“Apa jawapan dia cikgu?”

“Macam mana buat soalan 2 cikgu?”

Even after I gave them a lengthy explanation and pages of notes, they just refuse to think. Isk…

All through the class, god knows how many times they call for me. Wow…students really wants the attention from their teacher.

“Cikgu!”

“Cikgu!”

“Cikgu!”

“Cikgu!”

By the end of the day…. I become so’ muak’ and ‘loya’ of the perkataan ‘Cikgu’…isk…..

Angau….

Gue angau…kepada sesapa yang mendoakan ketidakbahagiaan kamek, makseh…sbab kitak orang, doa kamek termakbul… :P

But I do realize…semuanya sementara…just hoping this 'sementara' is for a lifetime..amin….lifetime partner ek?

Sometimes I get so head over heels, I couldn’t stop smilling and feeling so bubbly….ahaha….the songs bubbly describes my feeling exactly…

Bubbly…bubble…bubble…. Mwah….

Updates

The ‘character’ that I thought and prayed is dead apparently still alive and kicking. Surprise surprise. What does he think I am? Dumb? I maybe pretty but not dumb…isk…not all pretty girls are dumb. If that’s how you see me...

I’ve completed my first week as the ‘cik-e-gu’ at one of nearby school. The payment is quite ok and I think that is why I chose this over my relaxing-internet-all-day research assistant job.

The mentality of most of my students is beyond my understanding. Once they told me, “Mun semua orang pandey, sapa nak cuci jamban cikgu?” Imagine your feeling as a teacher when your students said that to you. I was shocked and sad. They didn’t have the willingness to improve their live. They didn’t see themselves being someone more successful as their parents are, although that is what their parents hope for when they sent their kids to school.

Fiela versus the food. The food wins. Even though I’ve cut down so much of my consumption, but it still beyond what I hope for. Isk…its hard. Especially when you’re under stress and pressure. I badly need a happy healthy live. I’m happy but unhappy but happy..hahahaha

Love is cruel

Love someone so much…he’s too far away

Love someone so much…you’ll miss him so much

Love someone so much…your heart will ache because u want to be with him so much

Love someone so much…u can’t really feel happy without him by your side

Love someone so much…u feel empty when he’s not around

Love him so much….u will just cry because all you want is feel his existence

Love him so much…you will be too scared of losing him

Love him so much…you worry about him 24/7

Love him so much…

I still
Love you, even now
No matter how much time goes by
I'm by your side baby, always
So, no matter how far apart we are
You’re always with me
In my heart, but I’m lonely
So baby please just hurry back home

There’s a first time for everything.

First day as a teacher. How do I feel? Totally grateful to all of my teachers. I thought that teaching form 1 and 2 would be easier since the syllabus would be simpler. Wrong! Teaching form 1 and 2 is such a nightmare for a softie like me. What do you expect when all of the older teacher carry around ‘rotan’ and ‘pembaris panjang’ each time they enter the class. That is the only time when the class under control. When it’s me in their class, hmm…god knows how many time I have to scream just to get their attention or just to get a piece of quiet.

But I’ve realized something; my stare is more powerful than my high pitch voice. During the last class, it was such a chaos with the boys teasing the girls, the girls chit-chatting, the boys throwing piece of paper to their friends and god knows what else they did. At first, I try to be soft but strict with them. I raised my voice a little. When that didn’t work, I scream and I don’t care how not-ayu I sound. They did keep quiet for a while after that. Then, when they start again, I was so furious, I didn’t say anything. I just stare them down. That work! They went straight to work and stop messing around. Hahaha…. I do have that icy-cold-stare after all.

I hope I can handle all the stress cuz I do need the money and like my mum told me, every work is hard…so…stop being choosy and picky…after all, the pay for being a teacher is not that bad.