AmOK

"When Gina and Bryan fought, he found himself becoming immediately rigid, as if he’s been injected with a paralytic. The arguments shot out of him like bullet points. He knew he was being absurd, but he was hostage to his own constricted fury.

…

Researchers have a term for this state: diffuse physiological arousal, or DPA. It involves everything from an elevated heart rate to boosted cortisol level and increased amygdale activation. In other words, it prepares you for war. In this condition it’s difficult even to comb your hair in the morning, let alone conduct a nuanced conversation with someone on a touchy subject. Says John Gottman, Ph.D., a leading marriage researcher and author of The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family and Friendships, “You can probably say that when people get into DPA, they lose 30 IQ points.”

p/s: Workaholism has been called the best-dressed mental-health problem of the century. Research suggests that often the real reason workaholics push so hard is not to advance their careers or provide for their families but rather to dodge the even greater challenge of maintaining a relationship. And indeed, workaholics are 40 percent more likely to end up divorced, says Bryan Robinson, Ph.D., author of Chained to the Desk."

quoted from Women's health magazine ONLINE

peringatan buat diri...

Firman Allah Ta’ala:

ظَهَرَ الْفَسَادُ فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِي النَّاسِ

“Telah berlaku kerosakan di darat dan di laut disebabkan karena perbuatan tangan manusia.” (QS. Ar-Rum: 41)

Sidang Jumaat yang dirahmati Allah

Rasulullah menjelaskan, tatkala ditanya oleh seorang sahabat, "Wahai Rasulullah, apakah itu ghibah?" Lalu jawab Baginda, "Menyebut sesuatu yang tidak disukai oleh saudaramu di belakangnya!" Kemudian Baginda ditanya lagi, "Bagaimana sekiranya apa yang disebutkan ltu benar?" jawab Baginda, "Kalau sekiranya apa yang disebutkan itu benar, maka itulah ghibah, tetapi jika sekiranya perkara itu tidak benar, maka engkau telah melakukan buhtan (pembohongan besar)."

(Hadis riwayat Muslim, Abu Daud dan At-Tarmizi).

Sidang Jumaat yang dirahmati Allah,

Hari ini umat Islam dihidangkan dengan berita-berita yang mengaibkan peribadi seseorang. Ia terpampang di dada-dada akhbar dan dijadikan berita muka hadapan. Umat Islam pula secara terbuka membicarakan berita-berita yang mengaibkan itu tanpa sedikitpun terdetik dihati bahawa apa yang diperkatakan mendatangkan dosa yang besar dan kemurkaan Allah SWT. Hadis yang dibacakan dengan jelas menegaskan bahawa yang menjadi soal bukan samada berita yang dihebah dan dihebohkan itu benar ataupun tidak. Peringatan penting dari hadis itu ialah perbuatan menghebah dan menyebarkan berita yang menjatuhkan maruah dan mengaibkan seseorang adalah dosa besar meskipun ianya benar. Kalaulah berita benar sekalipun sudah dihukum berdoasa apatah lagi jika berita yang dihebahkan itu cerita bohong maka dosanya jauh lebih besar lagi.

Sidang Jumaat yang dirahmati Allah

Kita diberi amaran yang sangat keras dari Allah SWT tentang membicarakan sesuatu yang tidak ada kepastian sebagaimana yang disampaikan oleh Rasulullah SAW

Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda yang bermaksud: "Seseorang hamba yang membicarakan sesuatu yang belum jelas baginya (hakikat dan akibatnya), akan dilempar ke neraka sejauh antara timur dan barat."

(Riwayat Muslim)

...

read more here...

Khutbah Jumaat, YDP UNIMAS

Saudara Muhammad Mus'ab Muzahar

22April 2011

Masjid UNIMAS

Tingkatan Puasa

Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali dalam bukunya Ihya al-'Ulumuddin telah membahagikan puasa itu kepada 3 tingkatan:

1. Puasanya orang awam (shaum al-'umum): menahan diri dari perkara-perkara yang membatalkan puasa seperti makan dan minum.
2. Puasanya orang khusus (shaum al-khusus): turut berpuasa dari panca indera dan seluruh badan dari segala bentuk dosa.
3. Puasanya orang istimewa, super khusus (shaum al-khawasi al-khawas): turut berpuasa 'hati nurani', iaitu tidak memikirkan sangat soal keduniaan

Pembahagian di atas memberikan umat Islam ruang untuk berfikir dan menelaah tingkat manakah mereka berada.

quoted from : ibadat puasa

mommy

I want everybody to love me

...I would throw anyone under the bus if I have too

That is the reality here

Trashing A in front of B so that B like/love you?

And pretend to be kind to A behind B?

And trashed B in front of A so that A like/love you as well?

How fake are you?

How desperate are you to be love/like by everyone?

Come on guys….don’t have to trash anyone even if you don’t like them.

What is the point of doing so?

Sooner or later the truth will resurface…

Mom tells us not to lie right?

Mom tells us to be nice to everyone right?

Be nice to others and others will be nice to you

Be sincere to others and others will be sincere to you

Bacaan Talkin

Bismillahhirrahmannirrahim.

Maha suci Tuhan yang Engkau bersifat dengan Baqa’ dan Qidam, Tuhan yang berkuasa mematikan sekalian yang bernyawa.

Maha suci Tuhan yang menjadikan mati dan hidup untuk menguji siapa yang baik dan siapa yang kecewa.

Maha suci Tuhan yang menjadikan lubang kubur sebesar-besar pengajaran untuk menjadi iktibar kepada orang yang lalai, dan sebesar-besar amaran kepada orang yang masih hidup.

Ingatlah! Bahawa sekalian mahluk Allah akan jahanam dan binasa, melainkan zat Allah Taala. Ialah Tuhan yang maha besar kuasa menghukum, manakala kita sekalian akan kembali menghadap hadirat Allah Taala.

Wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA,
hendaklah kamu ingat akan janji-janji Allah yang mana kamu ada bawa bersama-sama dari dunia ini.

Sekarang kamu telah menuju masuk ke negeri Akhirat.

Kamu telah mengaku bahawa tiada Tuhan yang disembah dengan sebenar-benarnya melainkan Allah, dan bahawasanya Nabi Muhammad itu Pesuruh Allah.

Ingatlah wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, apabila datang kepada kamu 2 orang malaikat yang serupa dengan kamu iaitu Mungkar dan Nangkir, maka janganlah berasa gentar dan takut, janganlah kamu berdukacita dan risau serta janganlah kamu susah-hati dan terkejut.

Ketahuilah wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, bahawasanya Mungkar dan Nangkir itu hamba Allah Taala, sebagaimana kamu juga hamba Allah Taala.

Apabila mereka menyuruh kamu duduk, mereka juga akan menyoal kamu.
Mereka berkata:
Siapakah Tuhan kamu?
Siapakah Nabi kamu?
Apakah agama kamu?
Apakah kiblat kamu?
Siapakah saudara kamu?
Apakah pegangan iktikad kamu?
Dan apakah kalimah yang kamu bawa bersama-sama kamu?

Di masa itu hendaklah kamu menjawab soalan-soalan mereka dengan cermat dan sehabis-habis terang, tepat dan betul. Janganlah berasa gementar, janganlah cuak dan janganlah bergopoh-gapah, biarlah tenang dan berhati-hati.

Hendaklah kamu jawab begini:
Allah Taala Tuhanku,
Muhammad nabiku,
Islam agamaku,
Al-Quran ikutanku,
Baitullah itu qiblatku, malahan solat lima waktu, puasa di bulan Ramadhan, mengeluarkan zakat dan mengerjakan haji diwajibkan ke atas aku.
Semua orang Islam dan orang yang beriman adalah saudara aku, bahkan dari masa hidup hingga aku mati aku mengucap kalimah “La ila ha illallah Muhammaddur rasulullah“.

Wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, tetapkanlah hatimu, inilah dia suatu dugaan yang paling besar. Ingatlah bahawa kamu sekarang sedang tinggal di dalam alam Barzakh, sehingga sampai satu masa kelak, kamu akan dibangunkan semula untuk berkumpul di Padang Mahsyar.

Insaflah wahai SAYA Bin IBU SAYA, bahawasanya mati ini adalah benar, soalan malaikat Mungkar dan Nangkir di dalam kubur ini adalah benar, bangun dari kubur kemudian kita dihidupkan semula adalah benar, berkumpul dan berhimpun di Padang Mahsyar adalah benar, dihisab dan dikira segala amalan kamu adalah benar, minum di kolam air nabi adalah benar, ada syurga dan neraka adalah benar.

Bahawasanya hari Kiamat tetap akan adanya, begitu juga Tuhan yang maha berkuasa akan membangkitkan semula orang-orang yang di dalam kubur.

Di akhirnya kami ucapkan selamat berpisah dan selamat tinggal kamu disisi Allah Taala.
Semoga Tuhan akan memberi sejahtera kepada kamu. Tuhan jua yang menetapkan hati kamu. Kami sekalian berdoa mudah-mudahan Allah Taala menjinakkan hati kamu yang liar, dan Allah menaruh belas kasihan kepada kamu yang berdagang seorang diri di dalam kubur ini. Mudah-mudahan Tuhan akan memberi keampunan dan memaafkan kesalahan kamu serta menerima segala amal kebajikan kamu.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan, kami merayu dan bermohon kepada-Mu supaya tidak disiksa mayat ini dengan kemegahan penghulu kami Muhammad SAW.

Subhana rabbika rabbil izati amma ya sifun wassallamu alalmursalinwalham dulillahi rabbil alamin.

“kullu nafsin za iqatul maut“
- Setiap yang Bernafas, Pasti akan Mati -

source_

there's a reason I said I will be happy alone

it wasn't cause I thought I would be happy alone

it was because I thought if i love someone

and that fell apart

I might not make it

It's easier to be alone

because what if you learn that you need love

and then you don't have it

what if you like it and lean on it

what if you shape your life around it

and then it falls apart

can you even survive that kind of pain?

losing love is like organ damage

it's like dying

the only different is death ends

this

it could go on forever

grey's anatomy_season 7 finale

Jika manis, Allah mengajarku erti syukur. Jika pahit, Allah mengajar ku erti sabar. Jika dikecewakan, aku sedang belajar hakikat tawakal. Bila cemas, Allah mengajar ku erti raja’ (mengharap). Jika sedikit, Allah mengajar ku erti qanaah (berpada-pada). Ya Allah, lepaskan hati kami dari asbab-asbab ini, agar kami bebas dan tenang berpaut pada ‘musabbabil asbab’ (Penyebab segala sebab) – wajah MU ya Allah.

God,

grant me the serenity of accepting things i cannot change,

courage to change the thing i can,

and the wisdom to know the difference

_reinhold niebuhr_

Well Well Well

Check this out!

2ndly…

Behold Readers!

LOL

I’m sorry for hiding my blog for a week or two…I’ve been to busy to post

a new blog hence I’ve decided to take a step back from this blogging-world (agak menyampah ngn statement nie…huhuhu)

3rdly

It’s finally autumn here and the weather is damn nice…but freezing at night. I love autumn. It’s like the gothic-version of spring. Hehe….i cant really explain it but that’s how I see it.

There’s main event for every season here (or elsewhere perhaps) …

Winter – Snowboarding … I am definitely going this year… Insya Allah….

Spring – Hanami (hanami ke? Jadi confuse jap)…anyway it literally means watching-flower… so hanami is actually picnic under the Sakura Trees that would blossoms for few weeks usually late march to early april every year. Its pretty awesome cuz the sakura would slowly fell like snow…giving us owh-so-romantic-feeling … (hence the name snow-drop in some country .. & cherry-blossoms in other)…

Summer – Hanabi Taikai ( Firework Display and I mean massive firework display…including up to 2-3 hours of display with lots of different colour and shape of firework…so far my favorite is the shape of Heart and Smiley..there’s also bow/candy, some Japanese character, sunflower, flower, fish, famous Japanese cartoons etc) ..this is my favorite…I never get bored watching this…

Then now Autumn! So usually we will go and se the autumn leaves… koyou is what the called it… this year I was so lucky cuz my fiancé (ehemm…I m mentioning you real nicely here! :p ) ….my fiancé organize a doraibu (road-trip) to Sendai and on our way, we make a stop at Zao Echoline…the view was definitely breathtaking..so unbelievably beautiful….my camera and photo-taking technique definitely didn’t do justice to the scenic view…but maybe this can give u the idea…

the sky is crazy-beautiful that day. Crazy-Beautiful! That is where i discovered my clouds-fetish! :p

this is Zao Echoline...its actually a highway(?) i dont know how to describe it....imagine how we used to hike into the wild? well this is driving-into the nature....the road is amazing! its crazy how they manage to maintain such a good road (not bumpy watsoever) in this secluded but tourist-packed area!

oh well...the truth is, we went there a little bit early...hence the leaves are not totally 'autumnized' yet...

Indah kan ciptaan Allah… ;)

p/s: my deepest condolences to all Indonesian for the enraging act of Mother nature on their land… I know my country will definitely send rescue-team…so jangan attack diaorg k? we are just tryin to help..Let puts our differences aside for a while and unite as human…

The heart of the Matter

forgive and forget

thats what they say

it's a good advice but it's not really practical

when somene hurt us, we want to hurt them back

when someone wrong us, we want to be right

without forgiveness old score are never settled

old wounds never healed

the most we can hope for is that one day we will be lucky enough to forget

g.a_S04E5

hati yang terluka

Kan Kucari Jalan Yang Sunyi
Untuk Menghindar Diri Darimu
Kuberjanji Di Dalam Hati
Takkan Lagi ku Menjumpaimu

Di Tengahnya Kabut Bermandi Embun Pagi
Dingin Membuat Hatiku Membeku

Kau Yang Telah Membuat Luka Di Hatiku
Kau Yang Telah Membuat Janji-janji Palsu
Kau Yang Selama ini aku SaYangi
Kau Merubah Cintaku Jadi Benci

Di Tengahnya Kabut Bermandi Embun Pagi
Dingin Membuat Hatiku Membeku
Kau Yang Telah Membuat Luka Di Hatiku
Kau Yang Telah Membuat Janji-janji Palsu
Kau Yang Selama ini aku SaYangi
Kau Merubah Cintaku Jadi Benci

...kau milikku?...

copy paste from kak lya on FB...

***
Petanda 1
Rahsia sepasang kekasih agar dapat memiliki usia hubungan yang panjang adalah dengan adanya saling kerjasama. Kamu dan dia selalu dapat saling membantu, dalam urusan remeh atau besar. Paling penting adalah kamu berdua selalu dapat melalui segala aspek kehidupan secara bersama- sama. Dan semuanya terasa amat menyenangkan meskipun tanpa harus melibatkan orang lain.
Apakah kamu sudah merasakan perkara tersebut?
Jika ya, selamat… kerana ada harapan bahawa dia adalah calon pendamping hidup kamu!

Petanda 2
Salah satu kriteria yang menentukan sesuai atau tidaknya dia sebagai jodoh kamu atau bukan adalah kemampuannya bersikap bersahaja di depan kamu.
Cuba sekarang perhatikan, apakah gerak-gerinya, caranya berpakaian, gaya rambutnya, caranya berbicara serta tertawanya mengesankan apa adanya?
Apakah setiap ucapannya selalu tampak spontan dan tidak dibuat- buat? Jika tidak, maaf kemungkinan besar dia bukan jodoh kamu!

Petanda 3
Adanya deria batiniah membuat hati kamu berdua dapat selalu saling tahu. Dan bila kamu atau si dia dapat saling membaca fikiran dan menduga reaksi serta perasaannya satu sama lainnya pada situasi tertentu.
Selamat! Sebenarnya dialah destini kebahagian kamu…

Petanda 4
Bersamanya dapat membuat perasaan kamu menjadi tenang, selesa dan tanpa perasaan tertekan. Berjam-jam bersamanya, setiap waktu dan setiap hari tanpa membuat kamu merasa bosan…
Inilah petanda bahawa kamu berdua kelak akan saling terikat.

Petanda 5
Dia selalu ada untuk kamu dalam situasi apapun. Dan dia selalu dapat memahami situasi dalam hati kamu baik dalam suka dan duka. Percayalah pasangan yang berjodoh pasti tak takut mengalami pasang-surut, suka-duka saat bersama. Sekarang, ingat-ingat kembali. Apakah dia orang pertama yang datang memberi bantuan tatkala kamu dirundung musibah? Dia selalu faham saat emosi
kamu terganggu? Dia tahu keadaan waktu anda sakit? Jika ya, tak salah lagi. Dialah orangnya…

Petanda 6
Dia tak terlalu peduli dengan masa lalu keluarga kamu, dia tak peduli dengan masa lalu kamu saat bersama kekasih terdahulu. Dia juga tak malu- malu menceritakan masa lalunya… Nah, kalau begitu ini bisa berarti dia sudah siap menerima kamu apa adanya..

Petanda 7
Setiap orang pasti memiliki kekurangan, dan kamu tak malu-malu perlihatkannya pada si dia. Bahkan pada saat kamu tampil ‘buruk’ di depannya sekalipun, misalnya saat kamu bangun tidur atau saat kamu sakit dan tak mandi selama dua hari.
Ataupun menceritakan sejujurnya kepada kamu tentang kelemahan dan kekurangannya… Nah!
Kamu dan dia memangnya disuratkan untuk bersama!

Petanda 8
Bila merasa rahsia kamu bisa lebih selamat di tangannya daripada di tangan sahabat-sahabat kamu yang lain. Atau kamu merasa sudah tak dapat lagi menyimpan rahsia apapun darinya, maka berbahagialah! Kerana ini bererti pasangan sejati telah kamu temukan!

Apakah kelapan-lapan petanda di atas telah kamu temukan padanya?

Have You Found Your Soul Mate?

The Indications

So chances are, there is more than one person out there who fits the bill for you. All of them are less than perfect. But if there are no perfect partners, how can you know whether to stay or go? Here are 10 relationship markers to help you know if he or she is The One:

1. When you're together you feel like you've come home.

2. You feel like your partnership was meant to be, as if kissed by destiny.

3. In your communication with each other there is a rapid "knowing" of what each of you means.

4. You have a shared mission in life, perhaps a cause, a career, or the creation of a family life.

5. When you're together the world seems like a better place.

6. Your mood is elevated when you're together. It's not necessarily passion or excitement, although that's there too at times.

7. When you look at him/her you see a part of yourself that's been missing. Perhaps it's her assertiveness or his joy of adventure. But it's something that when added to your life, makes you feel more complete.

8. Being together makes you more hopeful about the future you are creating.

9. You can be more authentic and fully yourself around your partner.

10. Being together makes each of you work harder on overcoming bad habits and becoming more loving people.

Don't worry if you don't feel all 10 of these things when you're with your partner. That's where the imperfection comes in -- either in you or your partner. If you are experiencing six or more of these markers, chances are you are matched well. Over time you can work towards having all of these qualities. Couples who have lasting love find that their relationships get closer and better over time. And that process has been my privilege and good fortune to experience personally -- after a lot of hard work that continues to this day!


source: Dating 101: Have You Found Your Soul Mate?

p/s: i've found mine...but....hmmmm

_if you say my eyes are beautiful_

If you say my eyes are beautiful
It's because they're looking at you
And if you could only see yourself
You'd feel the same way too
You could say that I am a dreamer
Who's had a dream come true
If you say my eyes are beautiful
It's because they're looking at you

If you wonder why I'm smiling
It's because I'm happy with you
And the warm sensations touch my heart
And fill me through and through
I could hold you close forever
And never let you go
I f you say my eyes are beautiful
It's because I just love you so

Now, my heart is an open door
Won't you come inside for more
You five love so sweetly now
Take my love take me completely now
If you say my eyes are beautiful
It's because they're looking at you
And my eys are just the window
For my feelings to come through
And by far you are more beautiful
Than anything I ever knew
If you say my eyes are beautiful
If you say my eyes are beautiful
If you say my eyes my eyes are beautiful

It's because,

It's because, they're looking at you

_whitney houston & jermain jackson_

all love

When I push the sheets away from your face
And watch you sleep all day here
And when I push you away
And say you simply cannot stay here

And it's all love, all love
It's all love, my stupid love

When I say you take away
The most important parts of me with you
When I've had the greyest day
You add more grey, it's just your way
It's true

But it's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, my stupid love

You can't be the one to kill the pain anymore
You let me in but then you slam my fingers in the door
I've had enough but I keep asking you to give me more

What I say
That is no way

It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, all love, ohh
It's all love, my stupid love

It's all love, all love
(It's all love, it's all love)
It's all love, all love
(It's all love, it's all love)
It's all love, all love
(It's all love, it's all love)
It's all love my stupid love

vioLenCe

My Dearest,
I’ve missed you very, very much since that last night we were together, and will hold that night especially in my memories for years to come. I’ve been turning it over and over in my mind lately.
I’ve read your letter through at least four times, and will probably read it more times before I’m through. I’ve been sitting here, looking at your picture and getting more homesick every minute. I’ve wanted that picture more than anything else I know of, except, of course, you yourself.
I keep thinking of you, Darling, keep wishing I could be home with you. I want to leave in the worst possible way so I can come home to see you, but things don’t look so good on that subject. But this war has spoiled a lot of things for everyone, I guess.
I’ve never been so lonesome in my life as I am right now. I’m completely lost without you, Darling. I never realized I could miss any one person so much. I just hope it won’t be too much longer until I’m able to be with you again… and live a sane and normal life.

_blink 182_

Addison: [drunk] I've decided that I'm gonna get really fat. Just as a stop gap, just until I figure out another plan. Eat all of these muffins and I'm gonna get really gloriously fat! It's over. Over. Ooover. I'm talking about the last 1/3 of my life Miranda. How can that be just over. How can that just end? Over a skinky pair of panties and bad tux."

_Grey's Anatomy S03E02_

.gRieF.

grief maybe a thing we all have in common
but it look different on everyone

it isn't just death we have to grief
its life
its lost
its change

and when we wonder why it had to suck so much sometimes
has to hurt so bad
the thing we got to try to remember is that it could turn on a dime

that's how you stay alive
when it hurt so much you can't breath
that's how you survive

and remembering that one day
somehow and possibly
it won't feel this way
it won't hurt this much

grief comes in its own time for everyone
in its own way

so the best we can do
the best anyone can do
is try for honesty

the really crappy thing
the very worst part of grief
is that you can't control it

the best we can do is try to let our self feel it when it comes
and let it go when we can

the very worst part is that
the minute you thought you're over it
it start all over again

and always
every time
it takes your breath away

there are 5 stages of grief
they look different on all of us
but there are always 5
denial
anger
bargaining
depression
acceptance......

_Grey's Anatomy S06E01_