Itu semua ketentuan Ilahi

   

So lately I’ve been hearing whines from my single-super-marvelous friends about people asking them, “bila gik nak nikah tok?” or “pahal lom kawen?!” or the best thing would be, “iboh choosy gilak bah! Kawen gik sia!” …(stop being so choosy…get married already!)…

Huwau…..friends, I was in the same boat before. Persetankan mereka! (I am not sure what ‘Persetankan’ mean, but hey…it sounds right!).

I know someone who would say this each time someone ask that stupid, insensitive question to her, “tunggu makan hol kitak lok!” …rude and cruel but serves them right.

Never judge people! Never ask people when will they get marry and never ask married people when they will have a child. Never tell them not to wait too long. For all you know, they have been waiting their whole life and your stupid selfish question is the last thing they wanted to hear!

On the other hand, to my married friends, or to all my married-having-a-blast-just-have-kids-or-still-in-the-honeymoon-phase friends or my i-am-getting-married-soon friends, we are not better than our single-amazing-independent-strong friends. We could lose it all tomorrow and they can very well have it all tomorrow. Don’t judge. Don’t think that just because we did it earlier than them, we are wiser! (trust me…it doesn’t necessarily means we are!)

I wish I can give comfort to all of you. I really do. It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there. Felt that. All the time I can only smile faintly. What else can we do at that moment right?

Xpa. Hidup tok adil. Kita mungkin kurang di department A tapi kita lebih di department B. Kita mungkin miskin harta, tapi kita kaya budi pekerti.

p/s: god bless each and everyone of you. This Syawal I met so many amazing people! Wonderful people who shows me “biarlah kita miskin harta, tapi jangan miskin budi pekerti”… makin daif kehidupan seseorang, makin besar hatinya … makes me feels like betapa la kecik sebenarnya kita tok!

Life….

All of our troubles seem unimportant compared to others … others in the other part of the world. 

That makes me feel like any post I wrote seems so menial…so useless…

Didn’t dare to tackle the bigger issue…surely need more information before I even dare to share my opinion to the rest of the world. Sharing to friends and family require less … they can always correct you…and that’s how you will learn more. Post it here, and I will have people correcting me harshly, sometimes their opinion is more ridiculous than mine…the thing is, people who judge me the most, is people who are afraid to reveal their identity…scared much? The information is more acceptable if the resource person is reliable….an anonymous is not a reliable person. 

I met an Iraqi family yesterday. I couldn’t help but asking myself, how are they feeling? They are safe and sound here but back at their hometown, their family and friends are fighting for life…  I am too scared to ask them that though…

On the brighter side, we were chatting about labor and such and she told me that she gave birth to a healthy baby girl, weighing 4.5kg! How amazing is that? She did it naturally. I am sooooooooooooooo in awe with her when I heard that. She is no larger than me! haha 

Well I guess that’s how they live. They think about their suffering at back at their hometown but they didn’t let it drag them down. Some act on it, some pray, some give donation…there are thousand ways to help them…

Ooohhh…..which reminds me… I would like very much to invite you guys to sponsor a child. I did this with Islamic Relief Malaysia. I informed them my interest through their website, and then they sent me an email, telling me what to do. I fill in the form, make the first contribution.  Within one week they sent me a profile of my sponsored daughter! The feeling was amazing! Her name is Sundas Irfan. She has 5 siblings. She is currently living with her mom (her dad pass-away some time ago). It is my hope that with my little donation, she will get good food and education and then be able to help her family! Isn’t that amazing?! I never met her (and probably I never will) but when I get her picture, I cried (okay…I know I cry over everything! :P)… they said that we can send letters to them but I haven’t done that part…I am still too overly emotional. huhu

The website is http://islamic-relief.org.my/e-khairat/sponsor-a-child/

Do something….do anything! ;)

DILEMA AURAT WANITA ketika bersalin!

Haha…..have nothing much to talk about…..

Uhhh….i do

Do you know that it is WAJIB for a husband to find a female gynae for his wife? The priority-list should be: 

1. Muslim Female

2. Non Muslim Female

3. Muslim Male

4. Non Muslim Male

It is obvious I am not the best person to talk about this. Read one book and already I am an expert? Haha…. 

But I really want to share about it. I come across this book accidentally one day and just bought it without much thought….it’s just I never read it till recently….so the book I am mentioning is….. “ Dilema aurat wanita bersalin ketika bersalin” by Dr. Zaharudin Mohammad. 

It is just 191 pages …. RM19.00 at Popular….so people, go and get yours today.

Anyway, for you guys who are quite lazy to read (kekekeke…no offense)…keep in mind that your first priority should be finding a female OBGYN. A Muslimah. Sure, it is quite possible if you can afford private hospital. For us who can’t really afford it, all we have is the government hospital and we all know far too well how the system works there. Keep in mind that we can request for a female OBGYN in government hospital. It is our right. Unfortunately we have to fight for it.

In that precious book, there is a real-case when this wife got a male midwife and she fight for it (dah nak beranak ni…but she truly fights for it…) and suddenly they gave her a female midwife! After telling her there is no female midwife available bla bla bla…suddenly there is one pop up out of nowhere cuz she truly fights for it.

I mean of course not all of us can be that lucky…be it we fight for it or not. But my point is, we can request for a female midwife even in the government hospital. Write a letter, fight for it. Make sure your husband fight for it. 

Unless…unless it is truly a life or death question…(that’s why you need to read the book on your own…huhu).

It’s sad that we have to fight for it in this Islamic Country. 

I mean how embarrassing it is for us to expose us to the male doctor? 

We cover up our hair and body and suddenly we have to expose our MAHKOTA because we are pregnant?! 

We do have a choice…we do have female midwife somewhere…sure its not enough but we do…and if we look for them, we will find them…at least we try to find them! USAHA! 

With that, I rest my case… do wish we are more sensitive on this issue... do wish our leader do something on this… i wish it is not that easy for a male to be an OBGYN… I wish the system help our muslimah to at least have a female midwife without having to fight so very hard for it!

Hopes and dreams....

Hopes n dreams....I have none....
Crappy crap crap...
The truth is I do have hopes and dreams...
I just have to dig deeper to look for it...

Went to the office again today.
After 2 years, the case is still a nightmare to me...
When he said they have come to a decision...I said to myself,"is this how it felt when u r being convict?"

(2 guys just sat right next to me...and started to chat....I wish I have the nerve to say, "sir, I m not interested to hear your voice at all!..)

Anyway, back to the office...so yeap...I m being punished.... Punished for being ignorance. Forget about the fact that he forge my signature. Forget about the time when he came n bellowed that he should have the car. I couldnt make it clear enough that I don't want the car....I don't even want the dust from it!!! forget the fact that he stated that he badly wants that car n his dad can do so n so by talking to so n so...oh well....I do wish u get the car back. I seriously do. I know how much it icks you to loose the car...I know u far too well.

So hopes n dreams...I do have hopes n dreams...
I hope u get the car...
n whenever I dream of you, its my worst nightmare ever! Haha

...The wedding...

I m married...

I know...lame right? But I do...I seriously do feel like shouting to the whole wide world; I m married! I m married and I am happy and he is my bestfriend n we fight like old married couple n we berkukut like teens in love n we just enjoys each other's company.

the wedding was such fun! My make up was perfect...my dress is simply adorable (minus the fact that I didnt loose even one inch!!!)... we had fun...we laugh and smile and giggle and just had fun! 

After ijab kabul, I cried...hell...I cried from the start till the end! My mascara totally messed up...my fake eyelash drop off...my eyeliner just ...haha....my friend said I look like the My Chemical Romance....kikiki...I even stained my shawl with my tears! My mak andam(which is my beloved friend) need to redo the make-up for the photoshoot....

But....it was perfect...alhamdulillah it went smoothly. My close friends n family are there. 

Next is the reception....omg...I am head over heels with my dress. Did u guys know that my dress is pinkish purple?! Who wudve thought I would dare to wear that colour?!

Oohhhh....the bagpipe! My wedding have bagpipe played. They played it when we 'march-in'... then we walked under the swords...there is absolutely no words to describe ur feeling when u r walking under that swords...its like time stop n nothing else matter...

Then the cake-cutting ceremony. I told him I want pulut kuning instead...but how can we 'cut' pulut kuning with the sword? Haha. 

Anyway...when the band march in...playing the bagpipe(again!!! I know!!! Hihi)...the sword bearer march in front of them, my sister said, there is no way anyone can miss the excitement on my face...hihi. I love the song they played.....I love that moment....it was a bit kelam kabut cuz none of us know what to do n where to stand....do I hold his hand? Or do I just stand like a princess next to him...or what? Hihi...but who cares? We r the pengantin n we do what we like...n yes that is exactly what we did.

But most of all, it went great. There are flaws here n there...but hey...kita merancang sebaik mungkin, the rest is fate. ;)

Thanks all.....thanks for everything...

Just a little bit…

I’ve been pondering about sharing this for months now. I refuse to share at first cuz scared of what it will make me feel later…but upon advice from someone, I know now, good things are meant to be shared.

So for few months now, each time I get my salary, I will go shopping with a very dear friend. We will spend on groceries especially the basic needs; rice, sugar, canned food, eggs, soap and such. Then we will send it to unfortunate family. 

I am lucky because my dearest friend knows which family to give it to… it is her daily job to reach the people in need. (You won’t believe some of the stories she share sometimes! I wish she can share it to all of you. We just have no idea, no idea at all, how lucky we all are! Or how unlucky we actually are…)

 You will be surprised how little money it will cost you, compared to the feelings you get later. The feelings you get will stay with you for days, or even months….and hopefully forever. I still remember each of the family I met and believe me, they are the ones who gave me the greatest lessons in life. 

Prof Muhaya is an optometrist. Each time she succeeded operating on her patients, she will say, she is just a tool. Everything is from Allah.

That is how I feel. I am just a tool. I get all this rezeki and I am the tool to keep some and share some. 

It is my hope that many more of my friends do the same thing. Trust me…it is fun! Shopping for others is more fun than shopping for yourself… :)

p/s: if you are interested and just didn’t know how to reach them, let me know. I will do my best to help you helping others…it is my greatest pleasure!

Our Warrior

I remembered when my home is broken into, i was so mad at the police, i selfishly write on their fb wall, complaining what seems to me their slacks in handling such case.  

I also remembered the time when i said i will never let my kids to join the police force ( or the army and such). I cant accept their hierarchy and what seems to me unnessary bullying and such.  

I still feel that way...  

But...  

I also remembered hearing a friends said our special force is one of  the best....worldwide...not just Asian-wide.  

I remembered watching on discovery channel how they were trainned....and i remember my newfound respect for them.  

I remembered talking to a friend who is actually in the police force...a friend who unintentionally gave me new insight on them.  

And i respect them with all my heart (although i cant deny their incompetency sometimes..) but these are the brave ones who willfully sign-up for a career that risks their life for others.  

When people say, they hope the government wont waste anymore money appreciating our fallen soldiers, i feel sad for the inhumanity shown.  

When people said, "it is their job to take care of our country and they get paid for doing it, so there is no need to make a big fuss about it", it breaks my heart.

How can you be so selfishly say that? These are the people who will risked their life to protect yours...

Imagine what would happen if all of them get scared and selfishly run away when we need their protection, who will we run to?      

Andai kata kami gugur semua, taburlah bunga di atas pusara.
Kami mohon doa, MALAYSIA berjaya.
Semboyan telah berbunyi, menuju medan bakti.  

I always joke with him about this song....i will playfully sang this part to him...its just that each time he said the word "semboyan" to me, this song will get into my head and i just have to sing it out loud.

I know its a sad song but i never really let it gets to me...  

Well not untill the recent incident...now the song brings me even greater sadness but redha at the same time.

Ini baru sikit....belum lagi macam di gaza.....

Life is...

WONDERFUL....
Each day i am thankful to be given another chance to live another day...a chance to clean up my sins and praying that i wont be making another...  

CHALENGING...
Each day i am bombarded with new challenges...let it be big or small. I wish i am stronger each day cuz the challenges are getting bigger everytime.  

COLOURFUL...
It is not just black n white...there are shades of grey...and another colour apart from black n white and shade of greys...  

UNEXPECTED...
You can plan everything the best you know how but still it doesnt go ur way...there will be surprises along the way. Some will make u smile and some will make you cry. Falling and rising up is part of it...one moment you are up, the next you are down.  

SHORT...
We will reach our end sooner than we thought. So why do we live like we gonna live forever?

.... ;) ...

her dad is a smoker...

I was visiting at the pediatric ward last week. 

We were chatting when we notice that the kid from the opposite bed was coughing non-stop. It looks like she is 1 year plus. The father of the child was holding her close, perhaps trying to make her more comfortable despite the coughs.

Suddenly a nurse asked the mother of the child, who was standing right behind the father, “is her dad a smoker?”

The mother turns her head to look at her husband then turn back towards the nurse and nodded slowly. 

Then the nurse asks again, “did the father just come back from smoking?”

The mother did not respond.

Then the nurse starts her lecture. She said she knew the father just come back from smoking, right before he hold her daughter. The nurse tells them that the chemicals from the cigarette smoke are all over the father and when he hold her daughter close, the daughter is exposed with the dangerous chemicals, hence the cough.

Then the nurse asked again, “have your child been coughing like this today, before the father come?”

Again, the mother chooses not to answer.

The nurse answers her own question. She asked the mother to notice how her child only cough non-stop when her husband is around. This is clearly due to her husband’s habit of smoking.

Slowly and respectfully the mother gets the child and holds her, the father watching sadly. After few minutes, the cough subsides…the nurse said nothing…

….so are you a father? And are you a smoker?

More importantly, are you a smoker who couldn’t care less about your second smoker?!

p/s: it amazed me when they said that the e-cigarette will cause chronic illnesses, even worse than the ‘original’ cigarette… renung-renungkanlah… ;)